January 30, 2011

Have you ever seen that show on MTV, If you really knew me? I've only seen it once, but its just a major therapy session with an entire school. Getting to know one another and all. I was thinking, you know that would be really good for my school. Some tears that drip off makeup and nervous sweat that washes away eyebrows, do us some good. I did my research, turns out its $5000 for it to come to a school. Guess what my schools not getting?

But its leads to a good. point. My school is run down. I'm not sure if the school colors are white and green or gray and gray. Because when I'm walking down the halls kicking around pieces of walls it isn't a big deal.

They even redid the 900 bathrooms without anyone finding out. It was like they only did it on weekends and after school to make sure none of use found out unless we used it. If the student body at my school finds out something has been fixed, in the slightest, you can guarantied it's going to be graffitied. And I'm sure the bathroom will be soon, but for now it's nice to be able to see myself in the mirrors.

With the start of a new semester, other than the schedule changes, new students come. And not just any new students, I mean students who come from the behavior management schools. For some reason they feel they will fit best within out concrete walls.

They're scary. I keep seeing new faces, it's weird not to recognize anyone. My schools got about 1500 kids in it, I'm not sure if that's a lot or a little.

Today I went to the gym for the first time. I had a personal trainer who was supposed to be nice but was kinda snobby. Like I was supposed to be strong and understood everything I was saying to her (she kept saying,'Really?' 'Are you serious?'.)We decided we were going to work on my upper body. So I did a lot of weights. All on no weight at all, of course. It's a gradual system. But I figure give it a few days and I'll look like Scarlett Johanssen, right?

They played all the weird Disney, Nick music videos and I said something like,' This doesn't motivate me, this makes me want to set myself on fire!' Big Time Rush and Miley staring at me sweat.

My mom was complaining about the resolutionairies that invade the gym. The people who make a new years resolution to go to the gym and lose all the Twinkies and ribs fat they consume. She says they only last a few weeks. But it got me thinking. I need to invent a word.

And here you thought I was gonna say something like it got me thinking about losing weight and sticking with goals. Sew it on a pillow and stop interrupting me.

I'm thinking I need a meaning before I invent the word. And then I'll post it on urban dictionary and become rich and famous. And you know by then I'll look like Natalie Portman meets Lindsey pre-crazy, what with the gym and everything.

Sorry this is off topic but at the gym, while signing up, I was given the chance to give 5 names of friends so they could come to the gym with me for a week. First thought- I don't have 5 friends. Second thought- That's kind of insulting ,'Yeah, here I got you this free pass to the gym, just thought you might be interested in that...'

I was kinda of afraid the gym would end up like that College Humor POV video about going to the gym, but I was fine. No one cared except the one girl that was texting and just sitting on the bench instead of lifting the weights. And then I reminded myself she was either going to die from cell phone radiation or obesity and I felt better.

Oh! My audition. I almost forgot.
That's a lie. That was like when people start of videos by passing the camera and saying something like,'Didn't see you there?' God, that gives me the creeps. Like the cannibal cereal in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials.

Anyway, I got to the school way early, like 8:50, when my audition was at 9:30. I was the 5th or so to go. Not many people wanted to get there early, I suppose, I can't blame them.

My old friends were there ushering us into the offices. I did end up getting the 'mean' one. He turned on the camera and I recited what I was supposed to. Very few um's were used. I played my scales and my piece and then I answered questions only using yes, because as my 5th grade teacher told me 'yeahs' were not to be used in serious adult conversation.

While I was playing I didn't know where to look. So I'd look down at my violin, then read the signs on the walls, glance at him, at the floor, oops looked into the camera, back around again. When he plays back the tape I'll look like a demon child.

I told him about my private teacher, what practice book I was in, where I went to school.
He told me I could tell my teacher I did a good job, my contact with the string and tilt of the bow were good and that 'I must be the first chair at my school.'
I told him no, 2nd and resisted the urge to tell him Hannie would out shine me later.

But the weird thing was he didn't ask me the two questions he asked everyone else. Ones all my teachers swore he would ask. I didn't get the anticipated 'why do you want to go to this school?' The one I had written a tiny speech for. So here's how I see it, either he didn't ask because he doesn't care he doesn't want me there anyway, or he wants me so much he naturally thinks I want to be a musician.

I have also come to the conclusion that if I did poorly at this audition I will have no grand children.
Perhaps you're laughing. Let me explain.
If I didn't do well at the audition I wont get into a good high school, which means I won't get into a good college. Which means I won't get a good job, which means I can't pay for nice shelter, clothes, food and transportation. Meaning I won't attract a mate, meaning no procreation. So no grandchildren.

My future is at stake.

I'm exhausted, so I must leave you. From the gym? No. From all your homework? No. From messing with your mom? Yeah...

Oh! Before I go. I finished the novel. Annie on my Mind. About the two lesbian teenagers. I found I couldn't relate, not with the lesbianism (wow, that reads way different then I meant it) but with the idea of this pure, true love thing. I'm not in love, so maybe that's why the emotions all seemed so strong in the book.  All the love or hate or confusion was so strong, unrealistic at times.
I didn't like the writing at first, it seeming like anything by Meg Cabot or Kate Brian. But that was the first chapter and it got deeper, less 'needy' if that makes sense.
All in all. Beautiful and different. I'd say eye opening, but I've seen it all and this was nothing new. You know the school I attend.

My mom's a croc wearer. I even saw her pair at Marshalls! Marshalls! They might as well be Kroger.

Just kidding, I like Marshalls. Not Kroger though.