Blog Summary

I'm here to describe -and discover- the truth and humor and pain that is life in the 8th grade. Day by day.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

April 27, 2011

Me- Here let me tie my tie around your neck, it'll be like practice for when I have a husband some day.
Bernie- Excuse me?
Me- You know, they always show the women tieing the man's tie in movies.
Bernie- Is this some sick 1950's dream of yours, because I'll tell you what you should be doing, practicing doing the dishes.
Or better yet, why don't you go make me a sammich!
Why are you tying my tie, shouldn't you be vacuuming?
Where's my sammich?

Sometimes the best thing to do, is just to let them have their fun.

Today was Wacky Wednesday in the horror that is Spirit Week. I wore a tie, just like Monday. You may wonder why I have so many ties.

Some people, though enthusiastic, always take things too far.
There are different types of these people, all bad, but different.
There are people like Phylis that take arguments to far, and then they eventually run out of stupid things to counter every one's silence with.
There are people who take rules too far. Take this- Someone asks for a piece of gum and they say, we aren't allowed to have gum, sharpies or guns on campus.
And then there are the worst kind known to man, or me, I like to call them the spirit weakers. They take every lame, lousy (can you tell I'm rereading The Catcher in the Rye?) instruction that the discards on the student counsel can come up with, root through their trash and wear it. That isn't wacky, that's sad. It sounds harsh but you don't sit behind the girl who stuffs her hair with cotton so she looks like Marge Simpson in math.
And its always one, tiny thing that takes them over the edge.

Like subs to try to make the best out of the jazzercise accident your Reading teacher had, by making crap jokes. Subs should stick to what they do  best, having no direction in life. Instead of laughing every few seconds at their chat room friends on the school computer.

God that reminds me of Mr.White, who sits in his classroom at his computer with the lights out. I don't know how to type the sound I make thinking of his pervertedness. I suppose you could look up Blue Waffle (a mistake you only make twice) and make it yourself.

Or you could just look at some Crocs...your choice. I think you know what you have to do...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Day After Spring Break

I like to think of school as a vaccine. You know it's beneficial, but you hate getting it.
What, there aren't needles everywhere at your school?

While I did not fist pump in the Jersey Shore this Spring Break, I did, have a lot of fun. Well, now I've made myself feel bad about not fist pumping enough. The truth is, Spring Break is bad and good for you. You catch up on your sleep, you wear what you want. (For me that would be, what do you call it- ***less chaps) Its the good life.
Until it isn't.
Not even mentioning sunburns and injuries, the day you return to school after your wild break (which includes Batgammon and Keyboard Cat for me) is basically the minor version of a hangover.

I didn't remember anything in math today, and there was this moment in which I would look at the problem, think I knew I could do it and then freeze. Nothing. It didn't help that there was this girl, the awfully named, Lavender, behind me, who kept saying all the answers out loud. Saying she should just take the test right now. Curse you!

But it's true that there's always that one kid in class that doesn't understand the fact that everyone, including the teacher, wants them to be quiet. They ask stupid, already answered questions. They poke the hornets nest. And I personally am not going to help them when they get stung, the can calculate how long they need to treat their wounds anyway, Lavender.

And its not just her disgusting habits, or rudeness, but her name. I don't have anything against the scent. It's just that some names will trigger anger in all of us.
Weather you had a bad experience with a person by that name, or you don't think it fits with their face. I can't judge.
I think we all understand that there will always be a know it all, jerk named Ashley. We all know one, we all have stories to tell, we're just lucky we lived to tell them.

Spring Break also seems to trigger cravings for Summer. Its like we whet our appetites, and going back to school seems way to early.

However, to lighten the the mood, my school had Nerd Day.
It's unfortunately Spirit Week, which does mean free dress. But then again free dress means dressing like you're from the streets. Most kids in my school take free dress as,'look like you slept in an alley, but didn't.'

I didn't have to dress up, and I did get quite a few comments telling me I did a really good job.
I brought a school supply tie (which makes one think, why does she have that lying around) and some 7 dollar, dollar store glasses. But I opted to wear a collared shirt, the reason being, I'm pretty much a scaredy cat.
And the fact that I wore dress code on a free dress day can either be looked at as nerdy or tragically cool? Yeah. I'll let you think that one over.

Maybe this week will trump even last week?
Maybe I'll stop putting myself down because I feel inadequate compared to my classmates and friends?
Maybe my mom wont wear Crocs?

Friday, April 15, 2011

March 14, 2011

I know people with the last names, Iqbal, Butts, and two twin boys with the last name Ball. Beat that.

Two big things this week, right before spring break.
1. ______, who I promised I wouldn't speak of this, has been getting herself into a lot of trouble. Not only has she tried a cigarette, she's drank 3 or so times. Shots of vodka, a big glass of mixed alcohol, beer. And a boy has touched her breasteses under her bra!
After she told me this I told her I was disappointed and was pretty shocked. She's a straight A student and I just didn't think the two mixed. She asked me what the worst thing I've ever done was,'Watch TV on a Tuesday?' Which made me sad.
But it gets worse, today she told me that for the first time, last afternoon, mere hours after her confessions, she tried weed for the first time. Out of a monster can.
Not only did this make me sad and surprised, it made me seriously angry. Like she's cool with this, like she thinks she's freakin' Super Women.
She has so much potential. God. (Today Miley got paint on her jacket and I immediately pulled out my Tide Stick, and they told me I was like a mom)
I wish she could say I was like her mom, but if I was, she wouldn't be smoking weed out of a monster can.

2. My parents are splitting up. I won't sugar coat the bitterness and I won't beat around the bush. It's happening, unconventionally, but still. Instead of one of them moving out, we're converting the office I am in right now, into a bedroom. It'll be weird, but it's better than losing one of them.

My little sister didn't see it coming, but me and my imaginary friends did, and my grieving was over. To be honest I had cried enough at the prospect, so when the truth hit, there was only so much shock to push out my remaining tears.
I am sad, for the loss, but it happens. It's just as average as pimples or biting nails, no matter how much we don't want it to be.
Half of marriages don't work out. It's simple statistics, no matter how mush you say you love someone, it may or may not always be true.
That's the thing I don't think most people understand. The fact that people who leave unhappy unions aren't bad, they're honest. They get that love may start strong, but get weak. It isn't any one's fault. But everyone has to pay.
I guess this is just another low point of 8th grade. Or, not just another. I guess this is the low point of 8th grade. Beat that.

Not much else to report, that wouldn't be anticlimactic. I hope you did have a better day than me!

Monday, April 11, 2011

April 10, 2011

Went and saw my schools production of Beauty and the Beast. My initial fear for the whole ting was that it would somehow ruin my favorite Disney Princess story, butcher it so badly I wouldn't be able to recognize it. But to my surprise, and utter relief, it was good. Decent. Better than the last one I reviewed.

It starred a lot of people that I knew, which was different what with the drama geeks being so exclusive. But half of them were in my Geo class and the other half were pretty popular. That may be a surprise to you, but at my school the people in the the play are at the top of the pack. Don't worry, I understand how wrong it is, too.

Bernie's best friend, and my old 'buddy' (who literally told me last year, probably a few months before the hatred began, that I wasn't her friend, I was her buddy,) Jessica, played Belle. She's beautiful, and smart and sweet. And mysteriously insulting. The whole package.

She has an amazing voice, and looked equally amazing on stage. She got all of her notes on tune and she sounded pretty near the movie. In fact, as a whole, the girls were good. Audrey, who should be the star of every play but some how ends up with the minuscule parts, played the duster thing. And Jordan, Issy's old boyfriends girlfriend, played Mrs.Potts, which was perfect for her.

But the boys, well....this is where it gets a little rocky. Apart from my old elementary friend, Cameron, who played Gaston hilariously, the boys were a little sad. It was kinda like this...first song, funny, second song, still funny, third song, and now its sad.

The chubby, blond, completely gay, candle stick was uplifting until I'm sure he started going off book and trying to do a french accent. Which was basically 'z' at the end of words. I would have left that out. Beside him was this boy, Marcus, who chucked a text book at Bernie last year for stealing his lunch box, the clock, was so loud and wobbly I felt like we should have someone with a first aid kit at hand.

Some parts were so loud it was scary, and others so quiet I felt like I was back watching my little sisters 4-5 grade version of Macbeth. (The early event of the day.)

The costumes though really pulled together the whole show. They were so cute. And I know I say that word should be left for dogs and baby socks, but it definitely qualified for this.

At one point the curtain rose showing the next scene, and at the very end the personality less 7th grader playing the beast lost his wig. Which caused a laugh track like response from the full house.

In fact one of the major problems with the whole thing was a personal problem. I was sitting right next to Hannie and every time, and there were a lot of times, the cast would go flat or sharp she would point it out. I started ignoring her or doing my fake laugh, but she just asked me if I was feeling okay.

I also sat right below Bernie, who was sitting with yet another illiterate crush of hers. They both left near the end, and I'm genuinely nervous now. You don't know what those drummer boys are like.

Can you tell me? Because I have no idea!

Now that high schools are set it's hard to not  imagine yourself there, especially when you pass it everyday. But the parts that are worth preparing for are the parts inside, so my imagination can only go so far.

Specs told me today that going to a high school with someone you despised would count as a con after I told her individuals shouldn't affect her decision. Does anyone else see the sad irony in that?

I'll leave  you to figure it out. Hope you don't have a case of the Mondays, or Beiber Fever,
Or, for that matter, Crocitis. You know, like a disease from wearing Crocs...ahaha, get it.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

April 6, 2011

Correct answers anyone?
Because I know your all dieing to see if you are compatible with me.

Name-
Height- Not taller than you
Nickname- Whatever you feel fits me
Age-
Whats your favorite Julia Roberts movie? Favorite? How am I to choose, they're all amazing.
Whats your favorite Debra Messing movie? Ew.
Which character from Family Guy would like to be for a day? Stewie, because Brian's cool, but he's a life long character. Stewie's impulsive.
Do you own a more then 7 solid colored shirts? Try all of my shirts.
Do you throw away playbills and tickets of any sort? No, because people generally don't believe that I've left my house. Proof.
Does your favorite candy bar have caramel in it? Yes. You don't like caramel, so I can have all of yours and you can have mine.
Does your favorite color belong to the kindergarten rainbow or do you add adjectives before the base color? It's a solid color, with no extra adjectives because I'm not pretentious.
Have you ever imagined that you belonged in prison or an insane asylum? No! I would never admit to that!
Hugh Grant or Colin Firth? Is this a joke?
Ellen or Letterman? Again, are we serious. Come on. Ellen.
Blue suede or purple velvet? Neither. Tacky.
Do you know the flight time between Paris and London? Of course. I've plotted my way around the world 7 times.
What would you take with you on a stranded island? Um...I guess my favorite DVD sets of TV shows. Gossip Girl, Glee, How I Met Your Mother.
If the answer wasn't the complete DVD sets of Gossip Girl, Glee, or How I met your Mother please stop the test now.
Do you occasionally restart your computer and find some random persons photos from Facebook on it? Who doesn't?
Do you know the age of every one of your teachers/co workers? I like to be informed.
Do you pronounce the word,'crayon,' like this cran, or crai-on? I pronounce it however you want me to pronounce it.
If given the chance would you kill someone for me? I am your loyal follower.
With light sabers? Duh.
Do you think of inventing the triple stuff? I'm past that. Quadruple stuff, anyone?
Do you like hot cereal? Yeah, and cold soup.
Do you know how to spell the word license? LICENSE
Do you know how to spell the word, AWESOME!? With the word 'me' in it!

Did you pass?

We had festival today. Which is basically ever sorry group of orchidorks (choir queers, band geeks...) in the county in one place. All having prepared for a competition against themselves.

We got a one though, which is good if you don't speak orchestra.

I hung out with this girl, Taylor, who's a cheerleader and current member on Kenzie's new science project group. She's so sweet. In fact, aside from her contagious gossiping, she's one of the nicest people I've ever met.

She told me all about the pregnant girl in her math class. Who always talks about that fact that she's pregnant, and her 'baby daddy.' Apparently she left her old school to come to our weird one so that the gossip and talk would stop. And then when no one talks about it, she just brings it up. Like, dead silence..'I'm pregnant.'

Field trips are kinda like the new years eves of middle school, though. You get your hopes up and on TV it looks so fun, and you always set out to have a great time. And then...disappointment.

I guess I'll just wait till the next one, right? Which will be at the high school of my choice, the one focused on college prep, with the IB program.

That's just how I roll.

I hope you had a good hump day!


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

April 4, 2011

We got our letters from the magnet high schools today. I applied to the arts academy, the lead off from my current school, for orchestra and the school a block from mine, which focuses on hard core academics, and college prep.

I'm leaning more towards the second, but the good thing is I got accepted into both! I'm lucky, a lot of people were wait listed, or declined. I actually found out before today because I made a deal with one of the counselors to let me know when she found out, on Friday. I guess I can add another perk to being this awesome.

Though when I was called up by her, and I realized why, I nearly ran, and yet slowed down. It's scary being a few hallways from finding out if your plan, whether it be conscious or subconscious, worked out.

And for a lot of people, like Issy and Jordan, it did. Issy applied to a school that has the programs engineering (for her) and being a pilot or whatever (for her boyfriend.) Her other to applications were sent to schools she didn't want to go to. She got wait listed for both of them and selected to the school of her choice. As did her boyfriend. I say it's the universe telling her mom,'no.' But it doesn't matter, she's so happy.

This means setting up a sleepover schedule and texting rather than talking face to face. But it's worth it I suppose. She's gonna be amazing. And I'm gonna be amazing. Even if we aren't going to be amazing.

But I'll get to that later...I'm turning up the estrogen in here....

I went semi formal dress shopping today. And trust me, I know your facial expression, mom, it isn't that much of a surprise. Though everyone keeps saying things like,'Your going to semi formal!?' Ego only slightly bruised. Don't worry, rolls of the back by now.

Me, Issy, her sister and our moms went dress shopping. I got an army green, silky, strapless, dress with two brass buttons on each side, which only adds to the military look. Issy got a black and white, halter with big white ruffles around the collar.
But it appears that opening and closing this door, has created 6 more. Jewelry. Hair. Makeup. Mask (its a masquerade.) Shoes. Sweater. 

Should I get a cropped military jacket, or go with the classic cardigan? Mask or no? Straight or curly?

Speaking of straight, I asked someone to the dance.
Shorty.
The 4'9", ex cancer patient, feisty, dancer/techie, amazing, flower buying Shorty.
The scariest moment in every middle schoolers life is the one between the initial,'Will you go to the dance with me?' And then, hopefully, following,'Yes!' Minus the exclamation point.

But it's set. Did I get romantic? Maybe. Does this make me reconsider my sexuality? No. Does it make my mom reconsider my sexuality? No. She's set in her, 'your a lesbian' ways, anyway.

In asking my first, and probably last (I will make no promises. Call me.) girl out. I have begun to wonder.

Who would be my perfect friend?
And so the O Compatibility Exam was born.

Name-
Height-
Nickname-
Age-
What is your favorite Julia Roberts movie?
Whats your favorite Debra Messing movie?
Which character from Family Guy would like to be for a day?
Do you own a more then 7 solid colored shirts?
Do you throw away playbills and tickets of any sort?
Does your favorite candy bar have caramel in it?
Does your favorite color belong to the kindergarten rainbow or do you add adjectives before the base color?
Have you ever imagined that you belonged in prison or an insane asylum?
Hugh Grant or Colin Firth?
Ellen or Letterman?
Blue suede or purple velvet?
Do you know the flight time between Paris and London?
What would you take with you on a stranded island?
If the answer wasn't the complete DVD sets of Gossip Girl, Glee, or How I met your Mother please stop the test now.
Do you occasionally restart your computer and find some random persons photos from Facebook on it?
Do you know the age of every one of your teachers/co workers?
Do you pronounce the word,'crayon,' like this cran, or crai-on?
If given the chance would you kill someone for me?
With light sabers?
Do you think of inventing the triple stuff?
Do you like hot cereal?
Do you know how to spell the word license?
Do you know how to spell the word, AWESOME!?

And now I wait....

Correct answers tomorrow?
Oh..I have another question- Would you, in any circumstance, like say you were trapped on a volcano with a dragon, wear Crocs to save yourself or the people around you?

Friday, April 1, 2011

March 31, 2011

Alright, so as I cyber pledged in the beginning of this whole thing, I will tell you the whole truth of 8th grade, the ups and downs. Only when I got there I didn't have ups or downs. I had flat, sturdy ground. And math tests aren't exactly breaking news. But then I started hanging out with the velociraptors.
To define hanging out I mean I kinda made friends with one of them and they travel in packs so I'm on a first name basis with the rest. I'd like to tell you that the whole cheerleader effect didn't penetrate my bubble of cynicism. But alas, they don't hand out names like the the school girl syndrome, for nothing.

And I knew going in that I wasn't one of them, I was the water boy. I was only there because I couldn't make the team, but one of the guys who did liked me. Kenzie is me, normalized. She gets good grades, she is super nice, she can be sarcastic. We have gone on 2 movie dates and we used to text constantly. We weren't good friends yet, but there was a possibility. A small bud of home for your favorite water boy.

 So we decided to work on a project together with another girl, Ginger, one who I know is using me and will in fact become my water boy if I get assertive. But then something terrible happened. I made a list. It was a list of renewable resources and facts about them, with pros and cons. A list that Kenzie called, and I'm taking a direct text quote here,'a waste of time.' I've already explained how personally I took this. But I did something that middle schoolers do. I told Shorty about it. And she was on my side, which is the reason you tell someone something, there's a comfort in numbers, even if there isn't a fight to win. I also got my Geo teacher to fake yell at her. And that was fine, until Shorty came into the classroom, right after the joke yelling and said,'I'm on O's side about the list.'

I didn't know about that until today, and I knew Shorty was aggressive and I had wanted her support, because Kenzie had made me feel like my list was crazy. But as I said, there was no fight to win. Until there was.

Kenzie bailed on the project the next period.
I texted her after to school,'You didn't explain!' No response.
And she hasn't talked to me since.
It's not like I've exactly been giving any romantic gestures myself, but I did smile at her when she came through the door in English. That's a frickin' ice statue in 8th grade. But I can't understand the 'why' of the whole ordeal. We didn't have a fight. I didn't do anything to personally attack her, even if I suppose my soldier did. And She certainly hasn't confronted me about any anger she has.

I know I'm making this seem textbook, but that's what I do. I was born a mundane voiced English teacher who loses charm throughout the year. And isn't that what happens to most aspiring novelists?

Off topic.
I don't know what to do. I want to text her the usual question, anything at all, random that I want to know about her. That's how we start our conversations. I want to pretend that nothing happened. Because other than her bailing, nothing did.
But I want to ask her if she's actually angry, doesn't like me or just got bored with me, too.

This sounds elementary, but I wanted her to be my friend.
And this sorta blows.

Because after you get over the initial blow of the cheerleader effect, it sorta turns into a string of glares and ignored English morning smiles. And that stings.

This being the first interesting thing to happen to me this year, I choose not to ruin it with stories of an empty lunch table (me and Issy sat alone today) or of 4th period shenanigans (are geishas prostitutes?) or even bus ride tales (we saw that kid with the guitar on his back while he rides his bike again, and we said the same thing again,'He loooks like he's going somewhere.')

I don't have enough friends to be scaring off the potentials! I guess in middle school resistance is futile. Even, or especially, when the sparkle, pink valley girl condition takes hold of you.


Don't let it eat you alive. Save yourself...leave me. I'm as good as dead.
But seriously if I had said that to them they would have left. I'm glad your still here. Mom.