Blog Summary

I'm here to describe -and discover- the truth and humor and pain that is life in the 8th grade. Day by day.

Friday, December 17, 2010

December 16, 2010

Zomg! Its been so long! I had concerts on Monday and Tuesday and then my sister had a concert on Wednesday. Its been crazy.

I have decided that I don't like Korola or her friends. They're just mean! I hugged her from the behind and they were all like 'What are you doing!?' I mean, I'm fake mean "You look at a ginger! She's got no soul!' But they're real mean. They kept telling me to go away when I stopped to talk to them after school. It was terrible, so I've been trying to not really talk to Korola, though I'll have too tomorrow when I give her her Christmas card.

I have a lot of cards to give out. Well, like 12, and I dislike most of the people I'm giving to. I also got little lip glosses for Bernie, Lola, Specs and Hilary. And me and my sister made cookies! Which I wrapped all pretty, so the cookies themselves are old, but the package looks nice. And that's really all that matters right. Oh look that book has a dead tree on it, it must be good!

In math I walked in and Tim was just staring at this new girl,'Look, O, there's a new girl! A new girl!' Me- 'Lets pick on her!' Tim- 'Yeah!'

I think I was PMSing or something beacuse I cried in 3rd period. I was the 2nd one in class and it was the day after the concert so we were eating cookies and watching the tapes. I set my stuff on a chair and then went to the restroom. When I came back my stuff was on the floor and there were no more seats. This nice girl who I've known since elementary went and got me a chair and if I was religious I would tell whoever to bless her heart. And then Ms.Heels turned out the lights and I just wept. Not really cried, only a few tears. But still it was odd, I don't know I was just so sad.

I also saw that Miley Cyrus video of her with the saliva. It made me sad at first. And then really happy. And then really sad. Sad 1- because she was a child star. Happy- Because high people are freakin hilarious, especially if they once had a G rated show. Sad 2- She has really crappy friends and people are freaking out over this, way to much.

John Travolta is gay! What!?

The concerts were really fun! I sat by Karen and we had a decent time. Though she told me straight up it was to early for her to tell me her middle name and her crush. So thumbs up for honesty!
But then she slipped on her hair between Chamber songs and fell, so um boo ya! 'No, you did really good Karen...except for your epic fail!' I could not stop laughing. Wow, I wanted it to be on the tape so bad.

Lola- 'Oh no! You can not steal chocolate from a chocolate person!'
Bernie- 'What your saying is don't steal candy from black people?'
Me- 'Wow, I'm so glad that's cure,'
Lola-'Or chicken,'

I'm glad racism is okay with my friends. Geezus, I need new friends.

Turns out that Talks in Facebook Like Pages has the same birthday date and time as me. So creepy. I'm mostly worried that she's gonna come to school with a ton of stuff and I'm going to be there with no one saying 'Happy Birthday!' and no gifts and cupcakes, blah blah blah. Isadora said she would bring me a balloon or something, she really hates Miley. And Hilary said she will bring us both brownies. I hope so beacuse I don't like her either. Though I did feel better when Isadora told me that when Miley told her her birthday she simply replied 'That's my best friends birthday,' And walked away so... score one for me!

This girl also brought me flowers at the concert. She told me she would come and bring me them, and I thought she was lying but she came! Their real and beautiful! I was worried she wouldn't come and then when she did I was worried they were for someone else.

I'm so pathetic.

Love you! Kinda (thats what Miley told me)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

December 10?, 11?, 2010

Cookie Day.

Apparently my mom can make holidays now, because we 'celebrated' cookie day today by baking way to much. I had to bake mine all alone, because singing while working is not something that goes with cooking, neither is happiness. Who knew?

So all in all terrible day, I can't count how many times I cried and had to summon different imaginary friends. There always on my side, so that's nice.

I won't bore you with my terribly pathetic, hard life. But I will bore you with my school day.

Friday was really slow. Slower than any other day. And it wasn't because it was Friday, or anything like that it was just that my classes seemed to inch by. The only one that went by alright was 4th, Geo.

The desks were all set up wrong. In a U for the debate that I missed on Thursday. I turned in my late assignment and then had to search for a chair because they all seemed filled up. I ended up finding one by Ariel and her weird emo-ish friends who desperately wants to be Ariel. Ariel makes a joke about this being the only one left. So I play along about how I'm at the bottom of the bucket or some metaphor. I hate small talk. I feel like I'm at a dinner party. Though Ive never been to a dinner party. What qualifies as small talk because in Willow, the novel I was reading, the main character, Willow, kept saying she hated small talk. Not for the reason I hate it, but because she wanted to really talk. But anything that wasn't small talk was about her parents death or herself mutilation and personally I'm looking for a middle ground.

At one point in the class someone told me that while I was gone my teacher impersonated me, asking questions that she thought I would ask. Hey, wait, what? I held myself back from asking her about it, but I really want to know what she thinks I act like. Most people tell me that the first impression of me is snobby.

QOTD- Why is something really annoying when someone American says it, but super adorable when a British person says it? Their accents are just so cute, they can get away with anything.

NJHS are trying to sell these little beanie babies that I tried to talk them out of. We poked holes in them with safety pins to make them key chains, so now they look 'ghetto' as Isadora would say. Anyway Ariel's and a couple others fell out so they asked for bigger ones. There is a whole debate over size and then I asked, quite innocently,'Why do you need safety pins?' I still didn't know about the stuffed animals. And then my teacher told me that I sounded like a mom! That was my nickname in elementary! How did she know! But it is kind of a compliment, unless she's referring to my mother.

Isadora put me, her sister, her mom and her grandmother on the insane scale.'O your a 1, my sister's a 4, my mothers a 9, but only because my grandma has to be a 10,' I like that. 10 points for Griffindor. No wait I want to be Griffindor. OOh, now I have to put my friends in the 4 groups. I know where Specs is going.....
Hufflepuff! No one likes them. Its like your not smart enough to be Ravenclaw (even though she probably is), not cool enough for Slytherine, and not brave enough for Griffendor. Its like the default house.

Where would I be?

Concerts tomorrow and Tuesday. Sisters concerts on Wednesday or something. I hate the holidays and thy're performances.

I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep. Good night!

Friday, December 10, 2010

December 9, 2010

My first day in high school. I never thought it would be this way. While I was still only 70 days into the 8th grade.

I was so nervous this morning. Like literally shaking in my 2/2 flats. It's scary going to high school. Even if you aren't actually going to learn.

I got there and my mom said goodbye and then this teacher ushered me into his room, where the girl I was shadowing would have her first class. He was also the teacher. My mom says he was 'hunky' but I didn't see it. Anyway, he was funny. And his class, early bird English, was probably my favorite.

The girl I was assigned didn't even remember she was doing it, but she was really nice. Lets call her Katrina. Her friends were really nice as well. In fact, most of the people there were nice to me. At one point her and her friend Janie started quoting Mean Girls. Like they did it everyday. Mocking it.

Her friends were just as smart as she was, and everyone in the room. I definitely liked that. They all made jokes that I genuinely thought were funny. She had this one friend, who was really tall for a sophomore and really skinny who called my Adria for the whole day because everyone said I looked like her. I didn't see it.

Yes, English was my favorite. While going through the notes we stopped at a vocab word, that meant instructive, and no one knew what it meant. The teacher stopped and said,'Come on guys, its my job to make you seem smart, not be smart, seem smart' then he pulled of his glasses and said,'These aren't even real,' On the next hard word Katrina raised her hand and said, that means repulsed. Then her group of friends quietly, and simultaneously said, in a very serious voice,'10 points for Griffindor!' I am so going to use that.

They had these projects called personal projects being checked. I really liked the idea of the projects. You had to decorate a binder and then fill it throughout the year with information, diary like posts etc. while you taught yourself something. Katrina was doing poetry. One of her friends was just writing millions of questions and finding the answers. Her other friend was writing a viola solo. And that boy that called me Adria, was doing fashion as Katrina said. He responded to this by saying,'Way to make my project sound gay.' His friend then told him it was gay.

Here's her schedule-
English- see above
Mythology- Taught by the stereotype of all mythology teachers with tattoos on her breasts and died black hair. She never talked and the class was rather boring. Easy A. Saw a pregnant girl there though.
Algebra 2 H- I did not understand a single thing. So scary. The teacher stamped like 17 papers from each person and looked crazy with this bun on her forehead, practically. She ran through things and was just crazy. I hate her.
History- Everyone warned me of this teacher and let me just say, they did not lie. She was old and scary and looked like she belonged in an English Boarding school. I can't give you an example because all I've got is Hogwarts. I learned all about Jesus. Only one girl was asking questions and answering them. The class was really dry but history is one of my favorite subjects, so I didn't get bored.
Spanish- The teacher was blond and easy going and completely annoying. Katrina even said she learned nothing in the class. This class is where everyone told me what classes to take, what classes I should take and one of her friends even told me about taking health online so you had a free semester.
Lunch- Not as bad as I thought. We ate in a teachers room, a lot of kids did and he was sarcastic and funny. I would have him if I went to school there. She told me she doesn't eat breakfast. Then she had gummy bears for lunch. I asked her when she did eat and she told me dinner. And that I needed to learn how to do homework and eat at the same time. She went to bed last night at 12.We also talked about crying. Apparently this was a good week because she hadn't cried yet. Which was a joke and serious. I started worrying about Specs. She will die at this school, and you know she applied.
Science- They took a test and then took silent notes. Why don't the teachers teach at this school? They man teaching looked like Kevin Smith and talked without his thought. He whistled and pointed. He was like every teacher in every high school movie. To be honest, they all were. The movies don't lie in that sense. The classes are that hard.
Debate- No one does anything in this class. They told me not to do it because of the homework, and at home maybe they do do work. But not in class. The teachers daughter was in the class. And she, the teacher, was racist and hilarious. Some how we started to talk about models and this is what she said,'Plus size models my ass! 12 isn't plus size, my thigh is a size 12. Those girls eat a grape and they look pregnant.' I like her.

Katrina's friends were amazing. I felt awkward around only one of them and that was because he rode my late bus and I had a picture of his back and head on my phone because he looked just like Isadora's boyfriend. So it was kinda weird meeting him, while I already had a picture of him. Who's taking pictures of me?



They told me to start Jane Eyre now.

They told me the biggest difference between middle and high was the essence of fear,

They took me to the orchestra room where the teacher made me play principle and I sucked because I didn't know the music and I had no shoulder rest. That was the only embarrassing part, other then when Alec stole my bag.

All in all it was fun. The hallways are so easy to get lost in and the masses all hate each other, but I am so pumped and I hope I get in! My mom was getting all sappy about me being a baby.

To be honest, high school is like the movies. The classes are confusing and hard and the people are different. There is not, however, as much drama. At least not that I saw. Though all the kids in this super advanced program do not care how they look. I mean they put on makeup, and they probably do their hair, but they don't make references to other girls hair and makeup and clothes. They just have to much other stuff to do.

I can't wait to see if I get in, though if I don't I hope I get into the other one I applied too. They are both good schools. What if I don't get into a school!?

xoxoxo

Thursday, December 9, 2010

December 8, 2010

I was working on my science project with my mom before this, so my finger kinda hurts because she stabbed it 2 times. And my ankle is really hurting too because this 6th grader stepped on it during gladiator tag. Which came after mat ball. So, all in all, good day.

I am Norm. You are norm. This week was inclusive week or something. I honestly don't know, but they had this women who talked like a robot and was super nervous and this 'panel' of students, all in the 7th grade. It was terrible. All about everyone being normal and norm and Norman. There was this one kid who talked with his hands and kept correcting himself and saying um, and my whole homeroom was yelling at him through the tellie. Or saying awww, he's so cute. In the bad way.

So I kept saying that I was Norm, for the rest of the day. I am hilarious.

Bernie- Knock Knock
Me- Who's there?
Bernie- Bernie, and she always will be.
Me- You watch to much Family Guy
Bernie- But you knew what I was talking about!
Me- So do I.

She started reading Willow, after yelling at me for pulling out the bookmark that was on page 1. She kept saying, 'I know how this is gonna end, It'll suck.' Then she actually went on to tell me what was gonna happen. 'She's gonna be all, Oh no I'm a murderer, then she's gonna cut herself, then she's gonna meet some guy and the shits gonna hit the fan when he finds out, then their gonna fall in love and she won't want to cut anymore'
 Mr.Mac then said that ,'No, she dies in the end. Like in Titanic' I had to then remind him that the girl doesn't die in Titanic, the boy does. He was like crap! I love knowing more then my teachers, even little stuff like that. It makes you fell like your smarter then Einstein. We put teachers on such high pedestals, you know?

Math test and English test.
Everything is set for tomorrow and I'm freaking out. Its just that in movies high school is portrayed as this terrible, awful place. With mean girls and cliques and impossible work. It's just that you start to believe it and its like I'm an intruder on this Shadow Day. At least the girl I'm following is a girl. I have talked to highschoolers, just not ones that I haven't known for years. I'm scared, no doubt. Maybe they will like me like all the 8th graders did when I was in 6th. They thought I was cute. Am I still cute?

Me and Isadora were on the bus and this boy in 7th who used to go to our elementary school came and sat next to us.  He, Markus, then started to talk, and he wouldn't stop.
Markus-  Hey, I really want to learn how to, to...
Isadora- Knit?
Markus- No! no, um braid, hair.
Isadora- Its not hard, you take three sections and then over lap them. I'll show you on O.
Markus- It's so sick.
Isadora- Yeah, I guess.
Me- What do you want to learn how to braid hair for?
Markus- I don't know.
Me- You should just start braiding girls hair in class.
Isadora- Way better than a pickup line.
Markus- What would happen if I walked from our school to here?
Me- You would get caught
Isadora- Way to white
Markus- That one kid, Jack, back there does it.
Isadora- You don't want to be like him.
Me- He's a hoodlum.
Markus- Whats that? Is that like gay?
Isadora- Yeah, hoodlum means gay.
Me- And you wouldn't want to be that would you?
Markus- No!


I love the bus.

Love you more! Wish me luck at high school!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

December 7, 2010

The date makes me paranoid.

I hate it when people repeat what you say or say 'yeah, yeah' like they understood what someone said. Like take today in class for example-
Teacher-Okay, no, its a compound sentence because if has the coma and conjunction.
Us- Yeah, yeah, oh!
Me- Don't act like you know.

I got in an argument with Bernie, too. Not a real one, because I never show emotion outside of my own home, but a fake one. It went like this-
Bernie- Mr.Smith always says 'Welcome back, glad your all in one piece-
Me- Except for Harry Baldwin, is he in your class?
Bernie- No, stop god, its just he talks so slow. I'm accilerated you know?
Me- No I don't know. Did you just say accilerated?
Bernie- Yeah, I'm accilerated.
Me- No, your accelerated. Notice how the red bar doesn't pop up when I speak?
Bernie- I said accelerated.
Me- Yeah you said it just then, not before. Are you sure your accelerated?
Bernie- I am accilerated!
Me- Accelerated
Bernie- Accelerated
Me- Jesus, we sound like those girls at the back of the bus who argue over Disney on ice.

Tim how is your table doing?
Pretty rough.
Their homework Tim, not their faces.

Isadora apparently texted me that her mom couldn't take me home, but like a good girl I turn my phone off and didn't find out till lunch. So I was bummed I had to take the late bus, but then this girl offered me a ride. And then Korola did too, the one I ended up getting. It was really cool. You know? To realize that people honestly care. Or they want their parents to stop bugging them to get better friends.

I always think I don't have that many friends, and I don't have really good ones, but I do have nice ones. I was actually looking at this old friend's of mine, who became really popular, pictures of her 14th birthday party. There must have been 50 people there and do you know what the sad thing is? All I could think was how many gifts she probably got. I wasn't jealous of her friends,or her party. There's something wrong with me.

Oh, oh girls they wanna have fun.
Not me. Not me.

Ms.Bumpy told me to' learn how to train my men now' today and to make Brian warm up my pizza for me. I did it and she whispered smooth. So funny. I think she's my new favorite teacher. I love her!

Not like my love for Jane Lynch or Ellen, though.
My mom says I only like brainiacs, ugly people, or women. So true. No but seriously she was like, 'My grand kids are going to be hideous!' I was like no, I can think of a male celebrity I find attractive.
No, no, no. that's a women, no, Leonardo DiCaprio! That's one1- don't you hate it when that happens. You probably fix that, but I don't.

I had nothing to talk about today. I need to get in the holiday spirit. 

I hate Christmas carols.
Decorating is too much work.
I'm cheap for everyone but myself.
And I'm still really broken out.

But gingers don't have souls, so I should be happy I just have freckles.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

December 6, 2010

Are you real?
Am I real?
Wouldn't it be amazing if we were all some experiment. Someones dollhouse, playing with our bodies like Barbies. Like we're either doing exactly as they expected, or completely different. Watching us slowly evolve, when they're millions of years ahead of us.
That would be so cool. Is it wrong that I think that? It would explain so much.

Bernie was ticked because her phone had been taken away. She was explaining why to me,'My mom and I were sitting in the car and she asks me to come home to her tonight, not my dad, because she wants us to hang out more. I want to hang out with my friends at my dads house, and then she yelled at me and took my phone away after threatening to throw my Starbucks away.'

 Last year this boy threw a book at her after she stole his lunch, and I made her apologize, I mean I think he had a disorder. And she did, I would be lying if I said that they became BFF's, but she did end up doing the right thing. So when she told me this I kinda just looked at her, and then-'Bernie...that was kinda mean. She just wanted to hang out.'
Bernie-'Well now it sounds bad,'
Then to top it off, Ryan, whose mom is only nice to him and makes him dinner when she is sober, says,'Yeah, no kidding.'
She was pained by family values.

He was bummed today because in order for his dad to keep his job he had to move to Colorado. It's really sad, his dad was probably trying to get away from his control freak wife. But seriously.

He was better by 6th. I was talking about Beauty and the Beast and then Specs asked what song she should sing for the audition. It had to be a fairy tale song or show tune. I started to say,'A dream is a wish your heart makes!' In my worst singing voice, everyone seems to think I can sing, when in truth I can't. My own sister told me I should just stop trying, that and dancing. I was like,'Baby, I know,' Then I turned to PJ, the homophobic gay dancer who's on the basket ball team, and say,'You now the ones with the birds and gerbils with rabies watching her get dressed, and she's all singing completely unaware of the cameras they have set up in her room, but she's...' He looks really into it. And when I finish, I say,'Right?' He gives me this been in the freezer look and says,' What sorry? I zoned out at butterfly. Sometimes girls they just can't stop talking,' I would disagree with him, but again massive lie. Plus I knew what I was saying was staged and artificial to get Ryan to smile. Whatever. I'm gonna ask him for tips later.

I just flipped over my list and it says Hi O! in Isadora's writing. We were actually talking about how her writing would be said, if it were pronounced according to hand writing. She says mine would be some French guy. Lumiere, to be specific. And I say hers would all be whispered. She writes in italics. If she wants to emphasize a word, she has to write normal.

It's sad when the highlight of your day is reading the funnies (or watching the tellie, I want to be Australian, or better yet Canadian!)  and laugh at Pearls before Swine. Sadder when you want to clip it out like old people with their clipping. I hate how coupons say, clip here, or cut. And I especially hate the little scissors. Like we don't know what to do. 'Oh Geez, Bertha, Donny darling get in here. There's this dotted line around this coupon saving my 5 dollars and I don't know what to do!'

Me and Isadora were looking up people on Face Book. Pronounced with a long a. Mostly teachers. My Dean has Gumby as his profile picture. Is that even a cartoon? Looks like a creepy rubber man that belongs on the top of a pencil. Then we clicked on his wife, and shes a landscape person! I hate those people! The ones who use pictures they Googled to pass as a profile picture. Come on. There should be rules against landscapes. Its not like you went to that place! People who travel wouldn't be afraid of showing a picture of themselves.

I'm totally broken out and apparently choice number two, or three, or four. If you can't have chocolate cake, go for ice cream, go for pudding, go for Jello. I am Jello.

The boy with the dreads, the really cool one, came over and sat on my lap today. He said I was Santa. My friends were all like, 'Get off her! Don't call her Santa! He's fat!' I really couldn't think about what he was calling me, because he was hurting me. Intense pain in thigh. Ow! He's fighting with the girl he usually hangs out with, not his girlfriend, just a flirty friend. I don't get it.

I asked someone if they had heard about Jane Lynch getting married. They said no, so I was like really!? Yay! But its real guys. Its on Wikipedia. And that stuffs legit.

Concerts coming up like crazy. Christmas coming up like crazy. I hate Christmas. I like getting stuff, but not giving stuff. The look on their faces! No, the money I spend. I know, I know. I don't want any lectures.

Why is it when I look up really good music this song always comes up as a you might like. If I like a good song, why would I like this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfGzWntCbxY
The highest rated comment to this pop song sung (not really) by girls in lingerie, is muting is the best option.

Its like those people you might know things on my Face Book page. Um, no.What she lives in Germany!? How would I know her?

Enough ranting. Here's something I enjoy. I like being corrected when I spell a texting abbreviation wrong. I need new friends.

Love you! Tell your mom to get new shoes.

Monday, December 6, 2010

December 2, 2010

Bernie was being totally nice to me when I got into class. She went and got my paper. It took me 5 minutes to realize that she wasn't just in an amazing mood, she hadn't finished the book club book, I am the Messenger, and was trying to make sure I didn't go Courtney Love on her. Its sad, but honestly after I stole her lunch, pencil, water bottle, essay ideas and dignity by making her chicken dance in front of the class I no longer cared that she didn't read the novel.

So I went into 2nd period and I couldn't find my pencil so I went back into 0 to look for it. As I was walking off with a new pencil since my teacher said Bernie probably stole it we saw this girl running, slip and have her crap strewn all over the hall way. I picked up all her stuff and my teacher got her to her feet. I tried to make a joke about the concrete floors being slippery. Didn't go over. She started to walk the opposite direction and said she was going to in house (where all the tardy kids go) but we said no and took her to her next class. It was really sweet. Things like that touch me, and I don't usually let myself feel anything but disappointment towards humans, so yeah. That's how I roll. Ooh, this just got creepy. But what if I had done this? ;( That's so much worse.

But you know who else I love more then Ms.Sweet? Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know about this Portia chick, I'm gonna keep telling myself that's a phase. She'll get over it. And Jane Lynch. This is what went down outside of my school with my mom this morning,'I love Jane Lynch,'
Mom- 'I think she just got married,'
__________________________________________________________________________beep

Yeah, that was a large part of my soul dieing. You laugh because you think I'm over exaggerating, but I can't feel my left toes or taste sour anymore thanks to that news. A huge part of me was stolen.

Your face.
 Your mom.

We all know about that. But it appears a certain stupid, blond girl would like to take this up to the next level. I don't know why, it isn't like she has that many friends to spare. But this is what she does.'Your hair is pretty,'
Her- 'Your mom is pretty!'
Me- 'What did you just say? She complemented you and you complemented her mom? I feel so out of touch,'

You should have seen what went down when someone said I only do that in bed.

Hannie got dress coded because her shirt said athletic and the dean said that was offending. Just because you aren't athletic does not make that okay, man. Son.

In Chamber Roi started to tell us this story about how one of his teachers was going around checking kids to make sure they were wearing a collared shirt under their sweatshirts and coats. We will never know what the point of this story was because Ms. Heels interrupted him, jokingly, and asked if he was today. To which he turned bright red and stammered,'No, well not today, no, sorry,' She was going to send him to the deans but I said why whats the point I mean if he really wasn't going to take his sweatshirt off and flaunt his rule breaking it makes no difference whether or not he is. So he wasn't sent. But everyone made fun of him, come on though you cannot even start that story if you are breaking the rule your making fun of.

Lola hasn't worn a collared shirt in a few months. I think she's just seeing how long she can milk this now.

Hey does God have a girl friend? I feel like he would you know. He could get anybody right. If I was God, I would have more than one girlfriend. And no more Portia.

Actually speaking of, we got to use this really cool giant map today. The whole world would have taken up the 400 and 600 hallways so we were only using South America. She said it cost 80,000 dollars to print. Um, no you can go check the definition of AYP and add zeros somewhere else. But seriously it was huge. I think people were getting kind of annoyed at me though because I was like 'Hey, hey guys, look I'm walking on water, look I went from the Pacific to the Atlantic so fast, did you see that? I feel like freaking God right now.'

I invented this thing called the good and bad list for book club. And actually everyone got really into it. Flattering me and kissing up trying to get on the good list or off the bad. Really fun for me. Not so much for them. I started off the meeting by giving individual rules. Specs could not use her phone. Ryan had to raise his hand. Bernie was not to talk excessively. And Hilary was to not give dirty looks. Hilary is so cute. Pinch the cheeks cute. I love her, she was on the good list a lot. So was Bernie, but not without trying. And another few free office supplies.

Dance concert tomorrow. Woot woot! I hate people who do that, don't do that.

I'm so cold right now. I'm literally shaking. Its legit. Don't say that either.

I got a Shadow Day all planned. I will be following around a sophomore. I'm pretty nervous. Mostly about lunch. Duh.

What am I looking for in a women? Think of your mom. And then the exact opposite. Lets make this easier, how to describe Ellen in a few words? Huh.

I wish I had found out about Jane Lynch at night. Because I haven't heard anything out of my left ear all day. That's how traumatic the news was. Married. ;( Whoops I mean :(

This just got more creepy than it already was.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

December 1, 2010

Hey you look nice?
I know.

My adim are out to kill me, well not just me, everyone. They have their ways. The pole, the golf cart and the mat. Those are the top three.
1. The pole is a giant, removable poll that's in the double doors. When kids are rushing out of lunch, in packs no one sees the pole, and at least one person will flat out run straight into it. Everyday. No exceptions.
2. The golf cart. Now,  I have never had the privilege of seeing this done, but Minion #2 has this golf cart. He rides around in it with a few buttons undone, at the bottom of his shirt, and you just get this feeling of dread when you see him coming towards you. Because I swear he speeds up with that thing. What would I tell younger me? Watch out for the golf cart. What do I tell incoming 6th graders? Watch out for the golf cart. What do I tell everyone? Hi my names________. It changes up.
3.The mat. This may just be the worst. Right before the pole, there's a mat. It doesn't need to be there, it knows it has no purpose except inflicting pain. But it just does what it's told. Here's how I think it goes down...
Minion#1- Hey, hey...the overlord, she who has no face (maybe no legs) wants the mat working today..okay?
Janitor- Gotcha, I'll pull it up. They are almost done with lunch
            heeeeehe, its pulled up at the corners!
And then we all stream in and trip, usually into the pole. So there you go, they're out to get us.

My math teacher looked like a frumpy, grandmother today when this young, college student came in, wearing stripes and stuff with hairspray in use. I felt sad, but I kinda decided that I would rather be my math teacher (minus the crazy tumor bump thing on her head) because you can just tell she really likes her job. And this women clearly didn't.

Shes also really funny. And not even that teacher who thinks she's funny, she really is. And she gets so excited from math. She calls in magic. She was even showing us this trick and then stated that it was moron proof. Some kid in the back, probably Craig, was like 'yessss!'

But then again he walked into the science room and said, 'This place is emptier then an empty cave,' So we have stop expecting anything different.

Ms.Heels told us that we were all green folders, some of us were yellow. What? Me and my mom have decided that,like us, she has learned to tune herself out.

She wasn't wearing any makeup and it was kind of scary. And the worst part is that I kept imagining those waring slides they have at the beginning of makeup tutorials online. Like Warning, no makeup! So yeah, that's pretty sad. Like how I imagine half the kids at my school either on Maury or To Catch a Predator someday or that I'm not all alone.

But aside from being lonely, apparently I make people laugh. Baby, I know. But seriously we were writing an essay and Cathy had to be called out because she couldn't do pacers (running 20 meters in a certain length of time, getting shorter, over and over) because shes a little messed up, who cares how. So instead my stuttering teacher decided to evaluated her with push ups. She went out side, was gone for 2 seconds and came back in. When she came back in we were all like how many did you do? you were gone for like a second? She wouldn't answer, and kept blushing (obviously she did like 3) and so I said 'Did he hurt you?' To which everyone burst out laughing. I just kinda told them I wasn't that funny and they needed to shut up.

Though now that I think about it, its about time I wrote stand up. I will start with a joke about how I could be the love child of_______ and _________. I don't know what celebrity's I look like. How about Jennifer Love Hewit and some hot male celebrity who isn't Mathew Maughnihy. Because if I was related to him, I wouldn't be here any longer.

Isadora hit me.
Because I didn't know who Snoop Dog is? Was? See, I still don't know. I think he was, is a rapper. Or is it rapist. Oh! What if it was rapist. That would be so horrible.

This 6th grader sat with us, she turned out to be our old friemeys cousin. But obviously didn't spend much time with her, because this girl was nice and fashionable. Or maybe I just like her because she rolled her eyes whenever Korola talked. Yeah, that's probably it.

Who wants to know my dream last night? Its crazy. Not like really, but kinda. So I'm standing there talking to this faceless guy, actually he might have been a You Tuber, maybe Kassem G, and then I started to write my phone number on his fingernails, yeah. He takes out his phone to copy it down and then says,'This is so going on MySpace,' To which I said,' Not again, might as well be a ginger if your still on MySpace,' And then I walked away all angry. Isn't that weird. Whats the meaning there?

Love you long time...not you croc wearing mom? Wait, whats she doing? Are those Uggs? Jesus, she never learns!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

November 30, 2010

It is almost December.
It is almost June.
It is almost Christmas.
It is almost Fourth of July.
It is almost Thanksgiving.

You know Pauly D from the Jersey Shore? I have only seen one episode, but I know who he is and I know his hair. Well I suppose this look is in with a certain crowd (one I tend not to interact with) and this boy in my Chamber class is one of them. He's really funny, but when asked why he is in orchestra you can't say anything but, what else would he do, art? This is what his hair looks like only longer...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQDma1E9GoM
So this boy comes in and asks everyone if they have hairspray. I push up my imaginary glasses, snort and say, 'Of course I do.' I'm fricken Marry Poppins. Anyway I give it to him, but to make sure he doesn't waste it I stand in the lock-less door of the bathroom and watch him spray and comb out his blow out. Then the whole small class of 20 comes over and watches too. Hilarious.

Then we all started to talk about whether boys should wear make up or not. And then about the meal and Thanksgiving. Apparently Ms.Heels went to this giant house where two gay guys live. I was like, fun! She spent last year in Arby's so this is a major step. Then from that we talked about Christmas, she wants an ipad, but doesn't want to pay. She's so lazy. We don't do fund raising because there's paper work for her and if she can help it she stays at her desk all period. She's probably happy that tomorrow the schedule is changed so that the first 20 minutes of class are for something that doesn't involve her teaching.

See my school failed this thing called AYP. My teachers kept saying that that stands for Annual Yearly Progress, annual yearly? No wonder we are failing.(It actually stands for Adequate Yearly Progress) and we fayul. Only slightly, by a mentally challenged boy or something, but we still failed. And that's serious, or at least it is to the admin. Their jobs are at high risk. Tight-rope-walking-with-wine-glasses-in-one-hand-and-a-time-bomb-in-the-other at risk. So everyone of my teachers told us what was happening from all sorts of sides. the hate and love for this program in which we have to have folders for each of our classes marking progress.
The Principal (who? the foreign exchange student) was on the crappy news and was threatening. She didn't even end with 'make it a great day or not the choice is yours' she finished by saying,'You will be held accountable.'

That makes me want to be good in school, but for all the wrong reasons. You honestly think scaring us will get better work. And the punishments are wack. You have a high tardy rate, RPC, which means you can't come to school for 3 days. Way to make sure we're there. You fail tests, you take more tests, cutting down learning time. And worst you wear your PE shorts as pants you get dress coded and have to wear the pants they give you, which are PE shorts!

I have come to the conclusion that having a normal Christmas tree will not make my family normal as my sister wishes. It will not make us a Hallmark card with a cream sectional and hidden refrigerator. It just won't.

My X-mas list
A poster of the world
A hat with ear flaps
The novel, What Eating Gilbert's Grape
Curling Iron 1 1/4 inch
White and red push pins and string
Polaroid Camera

My mom thinks I'm crazy. Something about my imaginary friends, rituals and fear of feet. I'm waiting to be sent to a therapist. But the money's probably going to my little sister. I should break my leg. I think they did that in a That's So Raven episode. See life mimics art. Not the other way around.

And the stage is the world. Point proven.