Blog Summary

I'm here to describe -and discover- the truth and humor and pain that is life in the 8th grade. Day by day.

Monday, January 31, 2011

January 30, 2011

Have you ever seen that show on MTV, If you really knew me? I've only seen it once, but its just a major therapy session with an entire school. Getting to know one another and all. I was thinking, you know that would be really good for my school. Some tears that drip off makeup and nervous sweat that washes away eyebrows, do us some good. I did my research, turns out its $5000 for it to come to a school. Guess what my schools not getting?

But its leads to a good. point. My school is run down. I'm not sure if the school colors are white and green or gray and gray. Because when I'm walking down the halls kicking around pieces of walls it isn't a big deal.

They even redid the 900 bathrooms without anyone finding out. It was like they only did it on weekends and after school to make sure none of use found out unless we used it. If the student body at my school finds out something has been fixed, in the slightest, you can guarantied it's going to be graffitied. And I'm sure the bathroom will be soon, but for now it's nice to be able to see myself in the mirrors.

With the start of a new semester, other than the schedule changes, new students come. And not just any new students, I mean students who come from the behavior management schools. For some reason they feel they will fit best within out concrete walls.

They're scary. I keep seeing new faces, it's weird not to recognize anyone. My schools got about 1500 kids in it, I'm not sure if that's a lot or a little.

Today I went to the gym for the first time. I had a personal trainer who was supposed to be nice but was kinda snobby. Like I was supposed to be strong and understood everything I was saying to her (she kept saying,'Really?' 'Are you serious?'.)We decided we were going to work on my upper body. So I did a lot of weights. All on no weight at all, of course. It's a gradual system. But I figure give it a few days and I'll look like Scarlett Johanssen, right?

They played all the weird Disney, Nick music videos and I said something like,' This doesn't motivate me, this makes me want to set myself on fire!' Big Time Rush and Miley staring at me sweat.

My mom was complaining about the resolutionairies that invade the gym. The people who make a new years resolution to go to the gym and lose all the Twinkies and ribs fat they consume. She says they only last a few weeks. But it got me thinking. I need to invent a word.

And here you thought I was gonna say something like it got me thinking about losing weight and sticking with goals. Sew it on a pillow and stop interrupting me.

I'm thinking I need a meaning before I invent the word. And then I'll post it on urban dictionary and become rich and famous. And you know by then I'll look like Natalie Portman meets Lindsey pre-crazy, what with the gym and everything.

Sorry this is off topic but at the gym, while signing up, I was given the chance to give 5 names of friends so they could come to the gym with me for a week. First thought- I don't have 5 friends. Second thought- That's kind of insulting ,'Yeah, here I got you this free pass to the gym, just thought you might be interested in that...'

I was kinda of afraid the gym would end up like that College Humor POV video about going to the gym, but I was fine. No one cared except the one girl that was texting and just sitting on the bench instead of lifting the weights. And then I reminded myself she was either going to die from cell phone radiation or obesity and I felt better.

Oh! My audition. I almost forgot.
That's a lie. That was like when people start of videos by passing the camera and saying something like,'Didn't see you there?' God, that gives me the creeps. Like the cannibal cereal in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials.

Anyway, I got to the school way early, like 8:50, when my audition was at 9:30. I was the 5th or so to go. Not many people wanted to get there early, I suppose, I can't blame them.

My old friends were there ushering us into the offices. I did end up getting the 'mean' one. He turned on the camera and I recited what I was supposed to. Very few um's were used. I played my scales and my piece and then I answered questions only using yes, because as my 5th grade teacher told me 'yeahs' were not to be used in serious adult conversation.

While I was playing I didn't know where to look. So I'd look down at my violin, then read the signs on the walls, glance at him, at the floor, oops looked into the camera, back around again. When he plays back the tape I'll look like a demon child.

I told him about my private teacher, what practice book I was in, where I went to school.
He told me I could tell my teacher I did a good job, my contact with the string and tilt of the bow were good and that 'I must be the first chair at my school.'
I told him no, 2nd and resisted the urge to tell him Hannie would out shine me later.

But the weird thing was he didn't ask me the two questions he asked everyone else. Ones all my teachers swore he would ask. I didn't get the anticipated 'why do you want to go to this school?' The one I had written a tiny speech for. So here's how I see it, either he didn't ask because he doesn't care he doesn't want me there anyway, or he wants me so much he naturally thinks I want to be a musician.

I have also come to the conclusion that if I did poorly at this audition I will have no grand children.
Perhaps you're laughing. Let me explain.
If I didn't do well at the audition I wont get into a good high school, which means I won't get into a good college. Which means I won't get a good job, which means I can't pay for nice shelter, clothes, food and transportation. Meaning I won't attract a mate, meaning no procreation. So no grandchildren.

My future is at stake.

I'm exhausted, so I must leave you. From the gym? No. From all your homework? No. From messing with your mom? Yeah...

Oh! Before I go. I finished the novel. Annie on my Mind. About the two lesbian teenagers. I found I couldn't relate, not with the lesbianism (wow, that reads way different then I meant it) but with the idea of this pure, true love thing. I'm not in love, so maybe that's why the emotions all seemed so strong in the book.  All the love or hate or confusion was so strong, unrealistic at times.
I didn't like the writing at first, it seeming like anything by Meg Cabot or Kate Brian. But that was the first chapter and it got deeper, less 'needy' if that makes sense.
All in all. Beautiful and different. I'd say eye opening, but I've seen it all and this was nothing new. You know the school I attend.

My mom's a croc wearer. I even saw her pair at Marshalls! Marshalls! They might as well be Kroger.

Just kidding, I like Marshalls. Not Kroger though.

Friday, January 28, 2011

January 26 and 27, 2011

Do you play games with subs?
Oh wait. Who doesn't?

Now there are amateur jokes and then there are pro's. The only two pros I've had the chance to talk to and be in class with were these two 8th grade boys in adv. orchestra when I was in 6th. Somehow every time we had a music-stupid substitute they got all of us to switch instruments. I was in 1st, so they were generally left out because Ms.Heels would put our names down as helpers. But everyone else would switch and just screw around all hour, trying to play a cello when they were a viola. Violins playing basses. Greatest never gets old joke ever.

But those were the good old days and now you have to resort to pretending to be your friends for the hour. I would say 'here' for Bernie and vice versa. But it's always funny. When you turn in something and it has your real name on it and they get all confused. Anything big wouldn't work anyway, not with the prude 6th graders we have in orchestra this year.
Eeee sits by Stace and Stace is a sweet girl, she asked,'Oh hey! Your my new stand partner! Whats your name?' And then "   . "

It wasn't even that she rolled her eyes like the other 6th grader, Tracy, she just looked at her like, well, like a deaf mute. Completely blank. At first I thought it rude and then I realized if my name was Eeeee I wouldn't tell people either.

It's funny how once you realize who someone is you suddenly see them in everything. Bonnie Hunt won't go away!

Yesterday Jordan, Issy's boyfriend, texted me. Bold him. Regular me.
Are you sure your ok with me? I still get the feeling you don't like me..
Are you serious? of course I'm okay with you. your my best friend's boyfriend!
Eer just cuz im your bestfriends boyfriend doesn't mean anything :/ 
i like you i just don't know you so I cant talk to you
You positive? And you know you can talk to me if you ever want to?
Don't be afraid to talk to me I don't bite :)
about what! your so distant
Okay I guess your busy...peace
 I'm not busy!
Dude relax
Don't call me dude...

And so on! But I was in math tutoring when we were having this conversation and I wouldn't reply until i had a chance so he said good bye to me, like above, about 10 times. As if when I didn't respond fast enough I was saying I don't want to talk to you. I used to get mad when Isadora would blow me off to respond, and now I know! He is insecure!  
 
Apparently he was fat or something with a bowl haircut and now he's dark and hood up and a rebel.

We started The Old Man and the Sea. Or as my teacher kept saying the Old sea and the Man. As of page one I think this guy needs a new hobby, come on man, come to terms with the fact that you can't fish. Take up scrap booking or noodle jewelry. And that's just page one.

 Had the concert today. It was supposed to showcase the best of my school. So most of school wasn't there.

The only good part was waiting behind the curtain, us going on first, for 45 minutes with only a pink stage light on. It was just fun. Me and Tim and my newish friend, Tonie, all talked. I was unaware of the fact that Tonie and Tim had gone out last year. Apparently they had broken up because Tonie's friends didn't like Tim and kept messing with them. pranks and teasing and stuff, and Tim had a enough.
She said she was really heart broken after he broke up with her. And then she leaned in close and told me she was still heart broken.
Later he told her he hated her, he's a joker, but she leaned in again and made a breaking heart with her fingers. But the romantic comedy bit was that as she was making signs to me he was mouthing I love her to me as well.

Is this what I have become? Feeding of others drama? God it's pathetic. But not as pathetic and Specs taking notes during a 20 minutes after school special video in health when we weren't instructed to or Hannie singing Mary had  Little lamb when she washes her hand. Yes, that makes me feel better.

Sorry for the weird posting this week. Everything was hectic, the concert. The Macbeth essay. My bad.

Until whenever!
Coming soon- my audition play by play

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

January 25, 2010

There's a new girl in Chamber (which I will begin to refer to as the Chamber of Secrets) and whenever I hear her name I giggle and my insides do one of those mechanical dog flips. Because of all the names I've heard in my short 14 years this one wins.
Yiyi.
 Pronunciation -Eee, e, eee. Nothing but vowels.
Sorry I just laughed so hard I have to pee. Eeeeeeeeee!

Who wants to hear the two urban dictionary definitions-
1. a really awesome girl.
2. something or someone so stupid you can't believe it exists.

Wow, those are both so accurate.

Let me start off by saying that I'm not a mean person. I'm a nice enough person. I mind my manners in public and cross my i's and dot my t's. And yes, sometimes I go too far. I break boundaries, but I feel really bad afterword and that has to count for something.

This blog is dedicated to what ticks me off.

I hate people who comment on You tube videos saying things like this 'If you're just going to insult people or bring up Justin Beiber, there's no need to comment.' What did you just do? There should be fee's for stupidity.

I dislike people who raise there voices at the end of declarative sentences.'I went shopping on Tuesday?'

I hate pulling out a shirt from my dresser, wanting to wear it, and realizing it was dirty and I threw it in there after I wore it last time.

People who post things like I didn't mean what I said or Can you ever forgive me?, on facebook when no one knows what they're talking about. The person you mean that for probably doesn't have a facebook and you don't sound poetic.

Those certain classmates that complain about something and then think your going to ask what's wrong. And then when you don't they sigh like your the desperate one and they don't really want to tell you all about their paper cut in 1st period.

Prank calls that make me believe there are New Mexican food restaurants in town that I have to look up.

The words,'What if'

The sound of someone brushing their teeth.

Christmas presents in bags. Rule- Christmas gifts are wrapped, Birthday gifts are bagged.

Zits that come along like unwanted, highly unexpected house guests that stay for weeks and eat all your food and make fun of you taste in furniture.

People who roll their eyes into the back of their heads when thinking hard. We all know that that doesn't help you remember, it helps make you look like theirs something to remember.

People with physical bucket lists. Maybe while you were writing that you could have been doing something on it:?

Unmatched shoes on purpose. Are we trying to look homeless? Is that in? Really?

W's instead of R's when someone wants something. Just because you sound like a baby doesn't mean I want to give you something. A) Babies would not want my last pencil  B) If you thought your weren't going to get the pencil, why do you think I'm gonna give it to an infant.

Drinking water with lip gloss on.

So there you go! What makes me angry!

You wanna know what else makes me mad?
Your croc wearing mom!

Monday, January 24, 2011

January 23, 2011

My 14th Birthday!
My mom reassured me, it was okay that I hadn't kissed anyone yet.

Remember that episode of Full House when DJ turned 13 and was freaking about her first kiss and then got it at the end? After we watched that last year my sister told me,'I was way behind,' What am I now?
On Friday I went home with Isadora and spent the night at her house.

We watched the Back Up Plan, Jennifer Lopez. I didn't like her until I saw Jersey Girl, and she had a tiny role in that. She hasn't aged like Cameron Diaz, but she does look different. The movie wasn't bad, compared to other romantic comedies that include children/babies/pregnancy (with an exception to Raising Helen.) But it was as though they had switched the typical roles in a romantic comedy. Like the boy character, a bachelor and proud had been switched to the girl and the girl, a women who wants to fix the man and is having troubles with her work or career was the guy. Like they had to because boys can't have babies. All in all it was very predictable. The single moment/romantic object/line that is found in each movie was a penny in this one. So they named one if the twins Penny. I hope this spoils the movies for you.

We also saw The Social Network. Isadora's sister said it was terrible, but she didn't understand it. I thought it was really good. I think everyone did a really good job in it and that the story, however true or false it was, was fascinating. I love those movies where they explain how something was invented. You could tell how he got the ideas for each of the things in the current Facebook. I also love it when there's a genius in a movie. Good Will Hunting for example. I can't explain it. I just do.

The next day her mom took us to breakfast and then she drove me home. And when I opened the door everyone said 'Surprise!'

That's right, my very own surprise party. How loved I felt.

Katlyn was there. Hannie was there. Isadora, her sister, my sister, Hilary, Specs, Korola and my two old kindergarten friends were there.

Only Bernie, Lola couldn't come.

It was a lot of fun. Movie themed and not as scary as I thought a party would be.

There was a personalized sign and little hangy things. There was popcorn and candy. No cupcakes though, because Issy's mom forgot them. But that's okay. Every thing's okay.

We started off by watching the Shining. At first we would laugh and then gasp and then scream. The only one who was calm was Hilary, who would speak simply to the characters,'Don't go in there, he's working' or 'Don't go down that hall again.' I was eating my pillow and hiding in Issy's back. She would tell me when I could open my eyes. At one point when the 'hero black man cook' was walking through the halls I was watching thinking he would save the day when Jack just jumped out and axed him like he was butter. I didn't see that coming.

Then we watched the Proposal. Which I've seen but Katlyn hadn't.
We played Headbandz, and made jokes about vibrators and suppositories (oh wait, that was my mom) and opened gifts. Mostly I got candy and gift cards. People don't know how to shop for someone who either says 'I'm out of cotton balls or I want Jupiter.'

For a while I had been wondering if something was up. And then all these clues and hints were being dropped.
1. Bernie asked me if I had seen the 2003 version of Peter Pan.
2. Katlyn asked me what my fav movie was.
3. Specs widened her eyes when something was said right when I came into class on Tuesday.
4. Korola called Isadora and Isadora hates Korola.

The thing was I didn't think it was actually happening. It was like I was making everything into something big, when it so wasn't. And I was afraid if I actually expected something I would get crushed if it didn't go through.

My mom was very proud of herself for leaving the house dirty until I left Friday so I didn't suspect guests were coming.

She made a big thing out of 14. I don't know why. To me this isn't a big one. It's just another one. Like 15 or 17. I don't feel like I can do anything special. It's not like my curfew is getting longer. My nonexistent curfew.

Is there Facebook etiquette for Birthdays? Do I have to comment on all of the merry wishes. Because I don't want to blow my own horn or anything but that would take forever.
Creepy Peter left me a message. I'm shaking my head as I type this. That's all I've got going for me right now.

And now I have to go to school and make sure I'm wearing my crown whenever Isadora can see me. The sacrifices we make for the ones we love.

Happy Birthday to me! Maybe this is my year! But maybe it's not.

My mom and your mom wear crocs.

PS- Picked out an outfit for my audition. Makes it all the more real.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

January 20, 2010

Second day of semester exams wasn't much different than the first. Only today I had English, Adv.Orchestra, and Geo.

I finished my English essay on snow (their views in life? its about snow!) and managed to fit it all into the final draft paper, but it basically made no sense at all. I think I mentioned snow and winter about 35 times! And tone and hope and I quoted some stuff about. You know what wait..you can read it yourself...
Mary Oliver's made sense, but Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's didn't. Never trust a man with three names.
Even though I liked his best his doesn't make sense-

Even as our cloudy fancies take
      Suddenly shape in some divine expression,
Even as the troubled heart doth make 
 
Does this mean he's sad? 
God I hate poetry. 


Then I went to adv orch. First one in the room, which meant time out corner seat. I was so cramped and lonely.
The test itself only had a few spots where I didn't know the answer. Which is to be expected, I  mean I have been taking the same test for 3 years.

She always manages to throw in an essay,too. I gave her what she wanted to hear and ended sentences about posture with exclamation marks. 

Why is computer being stupid and making my writing do this?
The poetry did it. Of course. Its like clip art and Cinnamon gum, never good. 

Geography was the same way, 100 questions and only a few hard ones. I forgot my notes at home, which we were allowed to use on the test. I told everyone I was 'uber' confident in myself and didn't need them. I hate the word uber. I always stop myself before I actually say it (or epic or legendary) because then I'd have to punch myself. 

My table, made up of Ariel and Samuel (perverted, yet proper, ladies man- He asked Ariel and me if we used tampons or pads. I told him he couldn't ask questions like that, then asked him if he would ask a girl her weight. He said 'no that would be so rude!') and Specs. 
For some reason we play this game. This test game where we cheat. And it sounds bad but we aren't going Cheats (the film) or anything, it's not hardcore. Someone will whisper a number and someone else will whisper a letter. Usually it's me, Ariel and Sam. Only primarily Sam and Ariel. I don't really ask, I more answer if someone can't get an answer out of someone else, backup. It's wrong I know, but it's the thrill man! No just kidding, it's like an inside joke. It makes you feel like your in on something. Not spilling someone else's secrets. 
I don't honestly do it. And for a second you thought I got deeper. Wrong. 

It was weird when Specs tried to join though. She didn't do it right, she tapped on the paper so you had to look up and I just kind of ignored her because she was being far too loud, like I do when the neighbors come over. 

I'm the one boy in the group who looks away and has slight gruff and never talks. I'm the only one looking away on the album cover. 
If only life was like a boy band. Millions of girls always running after you and the fame and money and stuff. I hate it when I go outside and all these chicks throw themselves at me, though.  Life's a trade off. 

But then again I also wish people would break out in song like on Disney or my grandmother. 

Isadora made me laugh yesterday. Forgot to mention it. 
Apparently she went down stairs in the morning and her dad kinda looked at her funny and told her she needed to wash her face. She responded by telling him she had run out of cover up. 
She asked me what I use, 'Neutrogena, though it doesn't work at all,'
'Yeah, my mom bought me Burt's bee wax sap oak tree maple stuff. Your washing your face with Neutrogena and I'm washing mine with tree sap!'

Going over to her house tomorrow. Oh and I did my hair! 
And then I couldn't reach my alarm clock and I had banana bread for breakfast, and then it was uber, epically, cold out and I wasn't wearing a sweater and....

Wish me luck on science, apparently the highest grade so far is 76%. Crap. 

Wish me luck on gym- I'm sorry I can't stop laughing. I got gym, no worries. 

I love how whenever you part in hallways on semester days you always simultaneously say 'Good Luck!'




Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Semester Exams 1st Day

Today's post will be pretty short. The day was cut in half, we got out at 11:40, so other than testing nothing happened.

Let me start off by saying there are rules for everything. Including semester exams. You aren't to bring your back pack. You aren't to bring a lunch.
And then there are the student made, or thought, rules. If you do your hair or wear anything other than your loosest jeans you will get glared at. Half days and big tests (the major May and finals) means you forget looks. Basically the opposite of the first days or picture days.

So everyone looks like they're in 5th grade, in sweats and no makeup and loose buns that are actually messy, not fake messy. We all kinda look like Micheal Trachtenburg meets Brittany after you know what.

I got to school and dropped off the money and Morning Bun I had gotten my science teacher for giving me the bagel and change when I forgot my lunch. She seemed taken aback and unhappy, but to be honest I don't care. I felt like I owe her, and I don't like owing people things.

Does that make sense?

When I got back to English I started on my essay again, panicking because it had to be done by Friday, but I also had to finish a multiple choice too. That I had created my own study guide for.
The essay is on tone and interpreting two poems. I hate poems. They make no sense and cut off mid sentence and I always seem to get the wrong story when I read them. I hate poems.

I was the last to finish in math for the first time. When I got to the 10 honors questions we had 8 minutes left and I still hadn't checked my constructive response or bubbled in the other scan tron sheet. So on half I guessed, C. Hopefully they aren't counted for more.
The thing was we didn't have as long as other classes because when we looked at our packets we only had the odd pages. At first no one noticed than someone went up and said it skips from 3 to 10. My teacher thought, only one person, asked us to check ours, saw a room full of raised hands and panicked.
They always tell you to check and nothings ever wrong, and then when you don't, on one of the hardest tests, its all messed up. A total disaster.

Then they give you a ten minute break, which is really a 5 minute break with 5 minutes to get to your next class. The quad is filled with all 1500 of us and every club is selling something prepackaged in tin foil and filled with god knows what because they only sell it for 10 cents.

I bought a pickle and some pop corn, because I may understand the issues with my school, but that doesn't stop me from falling prey to them.

 Chamber exam has turned into music marketing project, which means putting together a group of no more than 6. And well we aren't the Jersey Shores (Tim's group) DC Strings is coming along. I made the contract and will do the advertisement and picked the song, but what's new?

And then we left. And that was it. No friends, no jokes, nothing but coffee high, makeup less people eating pickles and pop corn and hoping they didn't fail.

I hope I didn't fail.

At least there's only 2 more days and then I go to Isadora's for my birthday breakfast.

Until tomorrow!

Januray 18, 2010

I have a sneaky feeling something is going on that I'm not suppose to know about.....

But I had that same feeling when my gerbil slept for 5 days straight and then mommy said it was hibernation and the rest darkens his colors. So no big deal.

My science teacher may be the reason for senioritist. She printed out 3 different study guides. A blue, green and a yellow. Like any logical person, or forget logic, anyone, I thought well they must have different questions, but the same concepts.
Unfortunately my teacher isn't a normal person. She has fallen under the weight of..oh wait, she doesn't do anything! She cut the test, 75 questions, into 3 bits. 25 questions. So I know 33.3% of the information on the tests. That's it. And she was joking about not getting every question right, try not getting more than a third. Like who thinks of that? Giving kids different chunks of a test, with different information on it!
I complained, in the form of a strongly thesaurused letter, and she hinted that she put the extras in the recycling. So now I have all 3. And so does Specs, who cried twice today. Once for this little retarded incident and the other because 4 girls in her drama class were joking with her saying she didn't have drama last year 5th period. When she did.
I think the convo went like this...
Specs-'Hey remember last year in 5th drama when we did-'
Girl1- 'I didn't have drama with you,'
Girl2- 'You didn't have drama 5th,'
Girl3-'Are you crying?'

My current project for her is independence. A work in progress.

My first few periods were slow and sad because we did math short answers for the exam today and I felt as though I had gotten the first one wrong. Then I asked 4 people and they all got x=7, not my answer.
I panicked and bought myself a orange cream sickle and wallowed in my doom. Until Ms.Bumpy came in and said it was okay if I took another look at it.

God, when you think about it I shouldn't be stressing over little things like that. I kept telling myself that. It's only one test. And then my other little voice would answer, yeah the semester exam.

Ms.Bumpy's son came in and at first I thought he might be a Homeboy industries thing. Until I found out he was registering for colleges and needed his moms help. He had spiked carrot colored hair and big, man jewelry and a baggy shirt. The apple was like over the mountain, through the river and under a bush from the tree.

I don't know if I've told you but in the beginning of the year (I sort of just did a double take in my mind. We have a semester left....we have a semester left) I volunteered Ariel to tutor for math. My silent revenge, if you will. Ever since then she gets sick on Wednesdays, her tutoring days.
It kinda goes like this.

She walks into homeroom, slumps in her plastic chair and lets her hair cover her healthy face. Then she sputters a little and groans,'I don't think I'll be able to tutor today, tell Ms.Bumpy I say sorry.' And then she gets better the next day.

Me and Bernie started taunting her for this.
Bernie- 'You feeling okay there Ariel?'
Me- 'Is it the Wednesday sickness, again!? Poor baby,'

She also has her little mini me, Ariel #2, by her side. Stroking her head. But she can't push her off or yell at us. You know, she's suppose to be sick. There's a cover to keep in place.

We also tease her and #2 about what we call the Ariel's. I don't know what it is about Ariel that makes girls want to throw themselves at her like Chad Michal Murray, but they do it. Maybe its her popularity, her over ruling confidence, or her signature scent. Personally I think it's the rules of the bathroom.

The rule is, and its a human nature rule, that if a name is written, with or without a heart, in a bathroom the occupants of the bathroom will create and interest for that person, whoever they are. So someone wrote Ariel's name in the girls bathroom and suddenly holding hands and kissing goodbye isn't so bad after all.

Because that's what it is. When Ariel is with a friend you can't tell which hand is which.

So me and Bernie will see this and say, lets go Ariels, twist into a contortionist pose all touchy feely and everyone will laugh at how accurate our impersonation is. We tend to do it on Wednesdays, for obvious reasons.

We took our picture in NJHS. I did my generic smile until my teacher yelled, 'O!' And I crinkled my face into a grin by surprise. It was the first time I was in the front of a photo in a long time (my height), they had the executive board in chairs.


Apparently I act like I'm 23. So says my teacher. Whats wrong with saying that something was uncalled for?

I'm reading a new book, Annie on my Mind. It'll have to go on hold for book club, but it's good so far. Page 20 that is. Apparently it's about two teenage girls falling in love. Or so says the back cover. The boy who sits next to me in Geo wants to borrow it after me.

Me- Lola are you wearing a collared shirt.
Lola- No.
Me- You didn't get in trouble.
Lola- No.
Me- Mr.Nose didn't see you?
Lola- He stopped me to ask what flavor of gum I had.
Ryan- His new hair cut is creepy.
Me- You noticed he got a hair cut?
Bernie- I think someone else wins the creepy award.

Oooh, ssssss. (No one gets that reference here do they?)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

January 13, 2010

I used to think of my car rides with just my mom as a television or Internet show called Road Rage. Because even as a small child I was brilliant.

But those rides are really fun, unless you know, they aren't. Some how they always end up funny though. Today was particularly hilarious.

Me- 'I think I would probably end up writing the next Family Guy, not the next Gossip Girl,'
Mama- 'Yeah, your much more likely to write Family Guy stuff,'
Me- 'I would always want things to turn out like right in Gossip Girl, it would be crap, nothing would be interesting,'
Mama- 'I could see your blog becoming a sitcom,'
Me- 'But I couldn't play myself!'
Mama- 'No, someone else would have to play you. Well, you know who would play me, Whoopi Goldberg,'
Me- Laughing,'Oh right, I see that, who would play me?
Mama-'Your harder, um a younger version of the girl in Legally Blond,'
Me- 'Reese Witherspoon really? Not like Abigal Breslin or Daokota Fanning or something,'
Mama-'There too serious, they don't do that bu bu dumb thing going on,'
Me- 'And I do? No, I would be Jennifer Love Hewitt, obviously,'
Mama- 'I don't know who that is, your gonna be angry but I think that one girl you hate would be a good you,'
Me- 'Not Debra Messing!?'
Mama- 'No,'
Me- 'Jennifer Garner..'
Mama- 'No, Drew Barrymore,'
Me- 'There goes my right side, thanks,' But to be honest I haven't minded her since seeing Never Been Kissed, very relatable,'What about Tina Fey? Or I know, Micheal Cera in a wig,'

Which is what we decided on. Micheal Cera in a wig. That's me. Its funny, in a not really way, because all the girls in my Geo class are in love with him and I'm like 'baby, I'm right here!'

Then again one of the girls in that class is this chick, Mogunda (It wants me to put Mohandas), and she just shaved half her head and dies it all black, after bleach blec blond. Her parents seriously screwed up. If I was named that I'd go Brittany on myself too.

I think I fell in love with Bernie today. We walk through the hallways and this boy in an unbelievably bright jacket, neon orange, walks into her. She says,'Watch it highlighter!' Then when we get to the orchestra room, which for some reason always smell like guilt and rosin and boredom this goes down...

We see a girl getting her instrument in the back room and Bernie calls out this,'Hey your in my choir class right? Your names Paula?'
Paula- 'I sit next to Stefanie'
Bernie- 'I didn't ask where you sat, I asked your name, it's Destiny right?'
Destiny- 'Its Mellisa,'
Me- 'Lets go now,'

I seriously expected her to say 'you know what they have in Arizona, steers and queers and you ain't got a set of horns so you must be a queer. Then Richard Gear would say something he shouldn't. But no such luck.

Hilary invited me to spend the night Saturday and it may be the first sleepover I've had alone with a girl for 2 years that wasn't Isadora.

Remember Tim? The one who randomly said he had a pretty boyfriend, but apparently meant to say he had a guy friend. The one with the Pauly D hair and who's shirt always matches the laces on his shoes. Oh right! That one.
Yeah well today Ms.Heels picked up a planner, the free ones with a cheap motivational poem on it, and looked to see who's it was. As she was opening the cover Tim kind groaned and went, 'Na.' But she kept going and then she smiled and asked if we know a Shakira. Tim took it and sullenly sat down, but he's not really making up for the fact that he said he has a bf (Specs- O, two f's is friend, one is boyfriend, geez) by writing This Planner Belongs to Shakira in his stuff.

It was like that one time there was a comb on the floor in English and this boy, Bernard, reached down and stuck it in his pocket and then told us he would keep it safe and return it to the owner tomorrow.

Or even the time Korola had quotes all over her binder and each one had her name under it. I told her she didn't say those things and she told me they were by anonymous, so why not be by her.

I love how even facebook is like,'Go get some more friends, we know this column isn't filled with people you know, these people are strangers, but were just trying to help you,'

I have added another person to my love list. And it isn't a women or a youtuber, its Justin Long. Which if you think about it, isn't that much better then a youtuber or a girl. And I was going to make my Mama so proud.

Okay, I'll go now. Because you know I have party planning and friends to do stuff with and stuff...


PS-There is a website for celebrity heights and this guy photo shops himself into pictures with them. How creepy are you, like what level on the creep-o-meter, when you do stuff like that.

January 17, 2010

So my weekend, although long, was going to be really boring until Hilary asked me to come over on Saturday. I met her at my school instead of her house because she's the president and had to pretend to be happy at some 6th grade open house. Open doors and what not.

Anyway I met her there at 12 and then her mom's boyfriend's mother and her mother took us to lunch at some Mediterranean place. It was really good but they kept giving me food and I ate like a total phony, as Holden would say. I kept my elbows at my sides and stuck my pinkie out. All that jazz.

Then we went back to her place and walked around the park across the street. Her house is like the ones Cynthia's and Christy's have in movies. Its huge and has a tiny drive way. A pool and Jacuzzis and a big bachelor pad kitchen.Minimal damage balconies and weird Native American art of like heads and hands.

Their situation is a little off. Though who's isn't now a days? Her mom's boyfriend bought the house and let her real dad stay their in his little Steelers covered room (I felt like I had just seen some documentary on obsessed people.)

But Hilary herself is normal. She's sweet and beautiful. Not cheerleader pretty, but like hidden somehow, that its so obvious but people look over it. God, I am the next frickin Shakespeare.

We saw Tangled and she nearly cried 3 times. It wasn't beauty and the beast but it was still really good. Disney fairy tales make me happy on the inside, like if you hollowed out a cucumber and then put some butter in there and then heated it up with princesses. Yeah, so my back up plan for the whole Shakespeare thing is a dog walker.

We also ran into our old science teacher hanging out in her best friends new house, which is on the park practically. We got ripped off by the foreign people in the ice cream truck. It was like a  family affair, working in the ice cream truck. I could tell they were the kind of people that whispered, 'Ahah we speak English and we just got 2 more dollars then we needed!' after you had left. So overpriced frozen water was the highlight of the day.

I was in awe by the amount of movies they had. At first I thought I want to have all these movies when I grow up. All stacked and shelved, pretty. And then I realized that the million DVD's lining their living room made them look really stupid. Like when you see someone who carries 5 books and 3 binders with them at all times, and then the opposite.

I watched a few movies I knew I couldn't get online and started a mental list. When I'm older, I'll buy novels hollow them out and then put my movies inside. I'll look genius. Let me go buy a pair of false glasses. (I love how it takes glasses for my mom to find her glasses.)

I told Bernie Scarlett Johannsen would play her in a movie. She told me Rachel McAdams would play me and then she asked who the one girl that I loved from Gossip Girl was. Leighton Meester. Yeah, she would play you.
God, she's good.

Let me just put this out there- If you like The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Twilight I probably don't care for you as a person.

I am going to give some tips now. Some for you, some for the 8th grade teacher.

Student-
1. Don't screw with the people in charge of your grades.
2. Don't carry a bag heavier than yourself.
3. If you don't know the answer it's C, and if C couldn't possibly be it than still put C, because what do you know moron.
4. Don't give people money unless they're desperate. It's the difference between generous and pimping.
5. Always agree with the person to your left. Then tap your heels 3 times and snap 2.
6. Avoid, at all costs, ending up like me. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE RULER OF THE WORLD.
7. Try not to back talk PE teachers.
8. Or if you do, come up with a way to keep yourself from laughing (i.e. biting lip, pinching palm) for when they turn unearthly colors.
9. Don't say yes to anything that the girls who are always in the restrooms offer you.
10. Come to terms with the fact that whatever your worst fear is it will be made fun of.
11. Or you can take mine, ( Your nose is soo big! Yeah, man, more for your mom!)
12. Don't say anything mean over txt about a person using their name.
13. Think ahead and come up with code names first.
14. No one cares about you anyway, don't flatter yourself. They aren't looking at you. They have drugs and ear sex to do.

Teacher-
1. Never, and I mean never wear a shirt without checking to see if nipples are visible. Lets be honest. That's strapping meat to a baby before throwing it to the wolves.
2. Don't let them know you know your nicknames. It's reason to make more.
3.Don't use our slang. Just, god, just don't.
4. Don't play games with us. Like the I'm going to Wait Until You Shut Up Yourself game.
5. Say that on big test days food and or gum is allowed. Major bonus points without having gum all over the room all the time.
6. Don't quote dead guys too often.
7. Keep change in your room just in case one of us forgets our lunch. Respect for you will grow.
8. Don't curse in front of the class, only when having private convo's with students.
9. Keep the motivational posters to a minimum.
10. Have an extra stapler. You'll figure out why on your own.
11. Get one kid, a popular one, to love you. You're home free if you do.
12. Don't give us our missing assignments in cursive. You won't get them.
13. Have a picture of yourself in 6th, 7th and 8th grade. No matter how terrible you look. We relate and crap to that stuff.
14. Don't change your look until Summers. Change scares the crap out of us.

Baby, I know.
I'm thinking thematic tips next.

Last full day until next week!

(At least the band is getting better in 1st period. They don't suck so bad anymore. I can tell the difference between America the Beautiful and Down by the Pond)

Your mom wears crocs! Yeah, well more for, uh..I know....

Thursday, January 13, 2011

January 12, 2010

There  is a reason why I always answer vaguely when with class mates, and there is a reason why I'm always so quite. Its because I am an observer. Yeah that sounded deep. I watch and listen and slowly learn how someone talks and acts and what will make them happy. It's a fun game. Learning about someone else and then doing what you know will make them like you, or feel better about themselves. It wins you allies for the coming war against the aliens that are killing birds and fish.

Take my new friend, Lindsey, she's bubbly and sweet. But she does this eye rolling thing and loud whisper mean comment thing. And don't get me wrong, she's one of the nicest girls in my class, but she has this rude side that she doesn't feel the need to hide. And when you call her out, she can make a lie fall out of her mouth easier then cutting butter with a hot knife. She wastes no time saying that she always picks on one of her friends, jokingly (this time being Hannie, who personally needs the wake up call, though it appears no matter how loud Lindsey's stage whisper side comments get, Hannie can't understand)  of course. It's simple, you can't interrupt her, because even when looking sweet you don't want to turn into that one friend. And you can't make her bored, she has to be engaged at all times, because, and this is my opinion, she can't stand being without someone talking to her. Her thoughts bore her far to much.

Bernie, she chooses wrong. And you have to tell her, when you wouldn't tell anyone else. She'll respect you more. She's the type that wants guidance because she doesn't get it from her other friends or even her parents sometimes. She wants a right and wrong. She hates gray, she wants you to decide. Because she doesn't want to have to choose incorrectly, again. She has priorities and guest lists and even though she has friends, like me, that aren't popular, she needs the people that keep her in the spot light. You have to give that to her if you want to be a priority and on the guest lists. Bernie can't stand people who make random, obnoxious comments, so don't make those. But be sure to laugh at her jokes, even when they're terribly racist.

Hannie. She can't be corrected. You pronounce things her way ,and you never tell her flat out you disagree with her. It's like boys making you think you broke up with them when in truth they broke up with you. You have to make her think she figured it out. That she had it right all along. It doesn't matter how you go about it, she is entirely opposite of Bernie. She needs to be right, but she too needs to be important. I've have never seen her be told that she was wrong, that her playing wasn't more than perfect. I guess everyone can see that she needs to be in power.

I hate those songs that you hear everywhere, but forget and can't find. 'Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too..'

I was actually listening to Bernie's ipod in homeroom. I decided not to take my student because I had so much work to do, or actually my teacher chose for me. I had no idea that everyone else had canceled and I was the only one like yeah, students!

She has this weird Irish stuff, Floggin Molly, which isn't half bad and then random songs and Broadway or movie soundtracks. She kept apologizing for that and all I could think was how when I got my first ipod all I had on it was Hairspray.

I'm fairly sure she ruined 15 movies for me yesterday. She would say something like,'This is the song that the writer and her sing before she dies.' That's okay Bernie, I didn't want to see Moulin Rouge anyway.

When I get sad I listen too The Foundations, Build Me Up Buttercup and think of how much worse it could be. And then I look up to see if random rain is going to start falling.

Mr.Mac got a dog. It pooed in his living room, we asked if it was a puppy, nope, 4 years.

I took my semester play test in adv. orchestra. I was the last one of the day. Because I'm second chair and she just started firsts. Hannie just finished and everyone applauded. Like it was freaking Yo Mama. And then I went up, and it's kinda hard to follow Hannie, like the sucker who has to come after Obama, poor fool. So I finished, everyone's talking, who cares about that strong nosed girl? That's okay. I'm gonna go cry now.

I suppose I have to go catch my taxi to you know where.

Do you wear crocs? No, my mom's got that covered.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

January 11, 2011

Its 1, 11, 11

We had this creepy sub in Algebra. He looked like he should have had cool Jerry Maguire shades on or be blind. One of the two. He was bald, but had like side burns that turned into goatee thing. I'm making him sound worse than he was, but he just kinda made me feel like I should be silent.

Bernie was here today (not in my house, but at school) but she was kinda distant and weird. Though to be honest I had kinda seen it coming. I'm the only friend she has that isn't in her 'group.' I'm the one she talks to when no one else is around and we never hang out. I think I saw one movie with her and that was it. There aren't any pictures of me on her facebook wall, I can tell you that.

Her best friend just got the role of Belle in the Beauty and the Beast. Figures, only sopranos get roles. So all the sopranos got the main roles and the actually actors got narrator 5. I'm pretty scared to see it, it being my favorite princess tale, if any one can butcher it, its my school.

There are some traditions that are spoken and some that aren't. Take for example the naming of the wild cats in the gym or the welcome back dance each year. They're unspoken 6th grade traditions. Every year the incoming 6th grade class names the giant wild cat head on the wall and the one in the cage above the old stage. Each year is different, though you never know the names of any class but your own. And the welcome back dance is considered the 6th grade dance, it's packed with all 450 of them. It's their first 'dance,' I can't blame them. I went to mine. In fact that's the only dance I've gone to, that I wasn't working.

At the end of the year I'll go to the 8th grade semi formal. Which costs 20 dollars and is held at the Italian American club down the street, real classy. I tell other people that I wasn't planning on going, but that of course is a lie. Everyone plans on going. It's like planning on becoming cool or popular or sitting on the dark side of the cafeteria. You plan it, but only some of the time does it work out.

Everyone wears dresses from JC Penny's and they're always tight and bright. And if they aren't they look like something that's so shiny it would stop traffic. You're either t and b or s, don't fight it, embrace it.  The guys buy their girls corsages. Which the girls will try o save until they're 23, and can't remember why they were carrying it around in a mini fridge and I suppose you're supposed to go with a date, but you're also suppose to refrain from calling people pigs and idiots to their face. Rules are going to be broken.

Book club was canceled because lazy Mr.Mac decided he was to busy to finish and he didn't want to have to tell everyone that. No book club until February 3.

I also skipped my first NJHS meeting. I heard their was no cheer practice and that means no ride from Isadora. I thought it was a one week thing and me skipping out meant no late bus today, or ever. But apparently cheer practice is done. Forever. I don't understand it, what with nationals coming up. But then again cheer leaders struggle with counting to 8 (1 ,2, 3, 4...what comes after that one?) and remembering how to spell things, even colors (What are our school colors? Give me an G, give me and R, give me an...) why would they know that practicing will make them better? My expectations were way too high.

So that left me really sad. I missed NJHS, fortunately not the class picture, that got canceled, and I'll get home at like 5:30, every Tuesday.

Instead of going to 3rd yesterday, or more correctly staying in third. I went to the counselors office and talked to one of them. Not mine, mine is the middle aged man who says 'h's' like Stewie.
I talked to the young blond one and she strongly encouraged me going to PE over the summer. Is my weakness that noticeable?

It has to be when things are always hitting me in PE. Now I know who watched the camera's tapes. I got hit with a volleyball today. It was on my left side, still recovering from Jane Lynches marriage, so I really didn't feel anything. It's all good. I just pretended no to hear the laughter...story of my life.

Are you ready for my imaginary birthday party? Because you and Avril are invited.

My mom wears crocs :(

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

January 10, 2011

Eating healthy things dipped in chocolate makes me feel like I'm doing my part to keep polar bears alive and stop the wars.

I just finished studying Geo for the Geo bee tomorrow. I think the only thing I learned was like cacti over arboreal forests. And something about Ohio being more populated then____.Though if you ask me why I couldn't tell you.

Going through all these study guides (even the ones for the bowls or bee's that aren't for semester exams) makes me really take into question the actual intelligence of test makers. Did they major in deceiving children and italicizing conjunctions. They're the people who have the worst mid life crisis, their job sucks, their children no doubt hate them because of reason 1 and their wives are probably always having to do junk like this -
Wife-'Honey, do you know how Jamal's doing in school, he won't talk to me anymore?'
Test Maker of a Man- 'The distribution of Jamal’s high school grades by percentage of course credits is given in the circle graph below. What is Jamal’s grade point average if each A is worth 4 points; each B, 3 points; and each C, 2 points?'

They (being the same people who always say all those weird things like a cat may look like a kings but it can't change it's spots and a watched pot never boils) always gives tips on test, do this, don't do this. But there's really nothing that can save us from questions like this -

Give the antonym of the capitalized word- The bee went to its place under the flower and layed an EGG.

What? Is this some sick joke, next they'll tell me I'm being raised. As if.

They say read the questions first, they say eliminate, they say things such as 'have fun,' yeah fun's what were really having during these tests.

 Playing tests tomorrow and NJHS yearbook picture.

So the current book for book club is a science fiction novel, Ender's Game. I'm about half way through the 320 page novel, and book clubs on Thursday. I feel like Bernie. I was worried I wasn't going to like it, being science fiction. But it's surprisingly good. The characters and well developed, beyond anything I could have predicted, which may be the highest praise I can give (Like saying to the creators of Phineas and Ferb that between their show and Spongebob, they win.)  More on that later!

 I curled my hair though and it looks pretty nice. My goal in life is to look like a Nicholas Sparks character. That's it except maybe to take the nerdiest kid to prom. That would also make me feel like I'm saving polar bears. But then I think about it and some kid out their will probably pity ask me to the prom. So yeah, back to Nicholas Sparks. Aim high, I tell myself. Aim high.

I was thinking about it and my year is going pretty well. I figure I haven't gotten e coli poisoning, Ariel doesn't make me do her work by saying 'wanna be my best friend?', and I have yet to throw up at or in the vicinity of school. So this semester, I think, can be considered a SUCCESS! (whats the opposite part of speech of the capitalized word)

Does your mom wear crocs? Lucky fool....You don't realize how blessed you are...Appreciate!

Monday, January 10, 2011

January 8th, 2011

I went to my first cheer competition on Saturday. It was hardcore. There were moms running around, swinging bags that apparently their daughters were to weak to carry, and little girls pimped out like Dolly Parton, and anorexic girls bouncing around, though very rarely did they smile when they weren't on camera.

To be honest it was more than a little intimidating. I think I disliked myself more there than anywhere else. Not only was I the only one there with minimal makeup on, but naturally curly hair. They all had these high pony tails, except for my school who had like high Princess Lea buns, and they all kinda looked like they were dipped in sparkles before the Joker got to their faces. That sounds harsh, but it was kinda like a bees hive, only every single bee thought it was the queen.

There was a side A and side B. So we sat on side B in order to see my school and the ones competing against it, which included my old pre-school/kindergarten bff's school. My mom said she looked like an owl, which she kinda did. Like a blond Michel Tractenburg. So every other performance we only saw the girls behinds. Which may have appealed to some, but really I was interested in the crazy faces they would make.

They would wave, they would pucker, they would blow kisses, and really look kinda.... How to I put this, well they didn't look like middle schoolers. It was all very posey and coy and for the camera, but mostly it was icky.

Isadora, however, really didn't do those. Though she claims she did 3, apparently they were instructed to. She didn't though, or was inexperienced because all we could see was her smile. My school did really well I think. They were kind of more interesting to watch because they did different moves, leaning a little towards dance sometimes, or synchronized swimming.

My old friends school did well also. They were a little more typical though.

My school got 2nd and is going to nationals, which is happy making. Even though I'm not in the team. I think I was scared enough for the whole squad and the measly mascots. I nearly passed out.

The group that got first was some church school, I think. They had some giant cheering group of moms with t shirts on that all matched. Though they held up signs that said GO FIGHT WIN. And I didn't know religious people were aloud to fight. I'll have a shirt for next time.

I am actually really glad I went because none of Isadora's family went. Me and my mom were the only one's there for her, in the sweaty over packed with soccer mom gym. We were it and I'm glad I got to support her and everything. No I'm all sappy..why don't I have a

This is going to seem really off topic, but have you ever cried when like having a day dream? You know like when you have a fantasy of sorts and its so sad you like bawl. You haven't? Oh, yeah, no me neither.
It's kind of like when you get teary when you see a movie or homeless man. You aren't them and you haven't felt what they feel, but when you put yourself there, or even near by, you can't help feeling bad. That's what it is, because dreams aren't real most of the times.

I changed my profile picture for like the first time in forever, I swear people didn't recognize me unless they knew me in like 4th grade with that picture. And you want to know what creepy Peter commented-I approve this message. Followed by Korola saying-Stop being creepy.And me saying-Go talk some where else. No I actually said- Thanks :). Like I'm suppose to.

I also got a new curling iron, I know call the presses and babysat for the two boys I usually babysit for. There really warming up to me and I think that's great. Though as it got darker I said 'lets set up camp' meaning lets put down blankets and pillows and watch a movie. But I guess they took it literally and as I was leaving their father was taking out the tent, giving me the mad eye. I felt bad, but that passed.

Super fast weekend. I feel like I got nothing done.

Is my life boring? Um yes. Why are you here? Oh that's right you aren't...
See this is what I mean, I need help.

January 6, 2010

Brought in roller coaster today. At least I looked decent.

Bernie was working with Ariel on the project, though they didn't get that far with the paper track and tore it down. Not only do they have to start from scratch on the model, but they also want to change their ride to a Ferris wheel. So they have to change that packet, too.

This time when Tom 'made fun' of me I took out my scissors and pretended to cut myself. Only I guess I'm a better actor than I thought beacuse he started to freak out. I told him I would send him the suicide note. It was just like when Guy in Geo made fun of my sweater I fake cried and then after lunch told him I called my mom. He freaked out too. They never learn.

My nemesis is back. I mean I know my butts juicy, but seriously little guy. No more biting. I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight. Pray for me...no just kidding. The higher your hair the closer to God you are. If that's true me and God are tight.

You know what I like? Dealing with awkward situations by stating their awkwardness and comparing it to another moment. For example,'God this is more awkward than that time I ran into Jennifer Aniston while taking Bradagalinas kids shopping.' Try it seriously. Let me know if that works for you.

I need a song. I know a couple is suppose to have a song. But forget that, I want a song. I'm a feminist. Go make me a sammich.
I think my song may be King of Rock by RUN DMC. Yeah look that up.

I hate when people mispronounce things. And don't get me wrong I don't know how to pronounce Russian cities and exotic foods, but some things go to far. Like take Specs and Hannie.
Garnet- they pronounce it Garnay. What? Like ballet.
Csardes- its actually pronounced chardes. Hannie says k-sardas.
Navel- naavil. I don't even know how to explain how wrong this one was. Spec's thought navel was a color she could dye her hair, her mom had to correct her.

My egg broke! Yeah that's right. You read correctly. My mom's brilliant idea failed, It got like zig zag cracked on one side and smashed on the other. I don't get it and I learned nothing about physics, but I had fun. It was weird beacuse all the simple projects worked. Soda bottles stuffed with cotton balls done at 10 last night worked. Science drives me crazy.

This weekend flew by. Why is Monday so far away from Friday, but Friday's so close to Monday. Dorry know I'm just quoting FacebookFanPageGirl.

Poor kids who are born into croc familys. I'm thinking of creating a webpage. StopCrocs.com.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

January 5, 2010

PE was the greatest today. We were outside, which at first was a bummer, but it turned out to be nice out. And then we played capture the cone on the soccer field!
The object was to run across and get a cone or two people in jail, because that's where you went if your flag got pulled and... seriously guys do I really have to explain this to you?
Anyway. I kinda teamed up with a few other girls. And we made a pact/truce thing with a few people from the other side. Sounds like a gang thing. They couldn't get us and we couldn't get them. There were a lot of ways to play. And I did pretty well. I got like 15 cones, no joke. Seriously. Like really. Shut up!
But that was another thing. We would all run at once, usually, so we were always in a pack and everyone kept yelling at us for standing there and talking. I was like shut up. Even if we were. It's 8th grade gym. God, people get so competitive. 'It's our ball! It's our ball! You're a cheater! Give it to me! Whoooo!' I usually respond to this one of two ways. A)To tell them to count to 10. Which hardly ever works because they don't know how to count and don't think I'm hilarious and well B doesn't really matter because I always try A first and now I have my own corner in the nurses office, so yeah neither really ever go over.
Hannie and Specs, who was surprisingly not in my group, got me out of jail. So I think I'll have to find a place for Hannie again. You know if I can pencil her in.
Spec's is on a different list which could get me in a lot of trouble, so um lets just drop that one...
The funniest thing that happened was when one of the opposite team members who we had a truce with ran into the trash can. The thing about my school is that we don't have field or courts or anything. Everything belongs to the park that we are kinda in. We just use them and have Mr. Rodriguez fight off the homeless. So there were two public trash cans on the sidewalk and she just kinda fell into one. They both fell over and lets just say. She will never live this down. Never. You think, haha O your such a joker. Your just trying to make middle school seem tough. Yeah, no, this is for real. Tip #56 Don't run into trash cans. Period.
And then wait for it. She did it again. It was really a hehe moment it was more like a AHAHAHA moment. You know?
What I don't understand is why schools keep those big, black, rubber trash cans in the hallways. What is this some kind of sadistic joke? Like yeah we know what kids do to other kids in big trashcans. But we're just gonna leave these here and go smoke pot in the teachers lounge.
Literally that's what the teachers at my school sound like.
It's not something to be proud of, my school. You don't really say,'Yeah, I go to _____!' Nope, more like '____ nope never heard of that place, don't pay attention to my moms bumper stickers'
Speaking of bumper stickers. Isadora's mom got one that says 'Keep Christ in Christmas,' So not only is Isadora planning her moms death, but also how to sneak out of the house and pull it off.
Because it was so cold out we had to do pacers. You know the run back and forth sprints. Everyone couldn't believe it because we had just had our post test. So when we asked about that my teachers said,'Yeah you had a pretest, but that one last week was a middle test, and this is the post test.' Half the kids said simultaneously,'Whats a f**king middle test?'
Fact of the day -A wickless candle is a crayon.
I have come to the conclusion that Bernie needs a soap opera. She really deserves one. That way I'd have to turn on the tellie to hear about how horrid her life is. Sorry, I got to work on that.

My mom wears pink crocs. Don't you say anything.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

January 4, 2011

 I read in King Dork that epigraphs have to be obscure and have nothing to do with the text. So there you go. 

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

So here's the biggest news of the day....I got a 100% on some important state math test. The bad part is that my teacher (who I really should stop calling Ms.Bumpy Head because I like her now) stood on a chair and pointed to me and my hair was so bad. I didn't even want my teachers to see me. And they have to tell me I have a future and look pretty.
The funny thing was that Specs totally ignored the whole scene. I hope she was jealous.

I think I've come to terms with the fact that I am a really sweet mean person. I am totally sweet to strangers and classmates, but otherwise I'm way judgmental. For example- I am not afraid to say that the dance team is for the girls that don't make cheer squad.
I have also come to terms with the fact that manners don't seem to apply to Hannie. When asked in gym if she was the best violinist in the school she replied, mind you I was walking with her,'In the school, yes, not in the state though.' Yeah, it doesn't hurt so bad any more.

I'm just messed around, bro. I'm not nearly as competitive or driven at music as she is.

But what I do worry about his how unclean I feel when I'm with her. You aren't going to believe this but she actually sings happy birthday while she washes her hands. And when I 'caught' her she simply stated that they say you should. And she does!
God its like brushing your teeth three times a day. No one does it!

Tom told me today that my hair looked like a weave. Okay lets see now, he's made fun of my freckles, check, and hair, check! To be honest my advice for you is to take nothing to heart. Or else you'll go Judy Blume style and put lemons on your face and think your very natural hair looks like a weave.

My reading teacher from the 6th grade yelled across the quad to me after school to tell me she was having a girl. I'm actually really glad she wanted to tell me, she even said 'I wanted to tell you,' There's really no way to misinterpret that.  It was funnier later because Specs was texting her (we have her number because she's cool and we did a prank over Spring Break on Mr.Mac with her) repeatedly asking about the gender. She was whining about not getting a reply and I calmly said,'Yeah, its a girl' Holy rap if you had seen her face.

I really want someone to name their baby after me.

Who the heck is Larry Miller? Go away!

I saw another roller coaster project and it was so good! Neatly painted and working and not a kit! I was so ashamed.
My cheerleader partner was like,'Umm..ours is cooler?'
Like it was a question not a fact.
I kinda wanted to yell something Uncle Sam wants you to trip while holding that! See I really need to work on the anger thing.

My life is all down hill. Any ugly project. Homework up to my left nostril, bone freezing weather, sweater vest wearing teachers, volleyball or football your choice! My mom wears crocs!

Yeah new outro..Not your mom wears crocs.

My mom wears crocs.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

January 3, 2011

I was talking to Hannie well not really playing some stupid game called mat ball in PE and I mentioned how our old friend, a cello player, was already in the top orchestra at the arts high school, even as a freshman. I told her I thought it might be because her teacher was the orchestra teachers wife. Hannie agreed and then she said something along the lines of this,'I love her to pieces and everything, but she isn't that good to get into the 4th orchestra, Mr.Meanie always picks his wife's students and I don't think she deserved...'

My first thought was this-Just like adding 'No offense' adding 'I love her to pieces' does not make insulting her okay.
Second thought-If she talks about her with me that way, what the heck is she saying about me with other people. Holy crap...

Obviously she must be dismissed from the practically endless list of friends. I'll show that to you some day.
Oh wait, my secretary can't seem to find it in her cardboard desk, yeah no I'll uh, I'll get back to you on that one.

So my new years resolutions are already broken. Though for my 14th birthday I might be getting a gym membership. The messages they think are so discreet. Like when they kindly left me a book entitled The Difficult Child.

As for the first day back it wasn't to bad. Specs didn't bring up her new shoes and I only had to explain that 'no I didn't shop at Hollister, this was a gift, I know I wouldn't fit in there' about 5 times. So not as bad as I expected.

It was cold however. At one point in 0 hour all of a sudden there was a slight clank and complete silence. The steady hum of the heater gone. We all kinda looked up expectantly at once and then at each other in fear. Some parts of my desert home actually got snow yesterday. I blame it on the gas stations and the Koreans. That's correct right? No? I'm getting canceled? Who was offended?

I got a 51/54 on my math test! Whoo...you don't care.

I did the blue print for the roller coaster project and remember how I had those 4 science packets that Ms.Sarcastic or Ms.I'm Single By Choice, whichever you prefer, told me I didn't really have to do, 'no worries.' Yeah well I did 3/4, but that last one I didn't have time for, and trusting her beacuse she has given me candy before I turned that last one in blank. So now I have 2 F's in the grade book, why 2 I have no idea.

Apparently I missed the memo about opposite day. Gezzus Christ.

The funny thing is that I only got dropped to a B beacuse every single one of my other grades is a 100%. Crap, I'm doing the discreet bragging thing again. I need to work on that.

Ms.Heels was begging Hannie to do a solo at the open house for incoming students and I was all supportive saying nice stuff about being prepared for the high school audition and how much fun that would be! And all the while Hannie is hesitating and saying she can't make it. I'm obviously like 'Hey I can do a solo too! People like me I think!' But apparently not. Which explains why that list is missing and I'm here typing to you rather then 'txtin with my home girls' Do they say that? That's the problem, I don't even know.

Maybe more will happen tomorrow!? I'm not crossing my fingers.

You wont believe what my mom got for Christmas. Sit down now. I'll wait.
CROCS!
I am officially a hypocrite (like you weren't one before?) My mom is a croc mom too.

My sincere apologies.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ahhh! Christmas break!

Not only am I hopped up on left over candy canes and black eyed peas, (do you want me to make the bad band joke because I can?) but I am also sleep deprived and terribly sad thinking of what tomorrow brings.

Because well yes, tomorrow brings back routine, something I thrive off of and seeing all my 'friends.' But it also comes with getting up early and what I like to call, and I came up with this all by myself, the I-got-new-stuff-and-I-will-wear-as-much-as-possible-today-and-the-week-to-come-and-I-will-say-I-didn't-get-anything-that-big-when-in-fact-I-tried-to-stuff-my-new-macbookair-into-my-new-knock-off-bag-which-I-will-continue-to-complain-about-even-though-I-really-want-you-to-bring-it-up-in-every-conversation-with-whomever-isn't-already-talking-about-they're-own-gifts mode. I think you can piece together this one on your own.

But the thing is, while I have done intense research on this after Christmas break condition, I still fall under it. At least a little. See I know and understand it. So I try to pace my showing off. Choose items to wear individually, rather than all at once. Like I know Specs will, she'll probably have 5 hair ribbons on at the same time. I am seriously considering slowly pushing the laptop into the bath.

But the worst ones are the ones who think they're doing it discreetly, like me. We pretend we don't notice our new coats (I got about 10, including one that says Stanford, which makes not getting in there in 4 years all the more scary) or new watches! See I'm showing off cyberally now. I disappoint myself.

I am very lucky though. This year I was fortunate enough to get things I wanted and visit my family. I refuse to see the hours of plane rides a lucky thing.

But just like the subway (I rode that! I seriously deserve a prize or something, you know at the ends of rides when they have t shirts that say 'I survived the_____' Yeah, well I was looking for one of those when I got off) on planes there are some characters! I tried to mimic their positions. I realized my feet were crossed, so I spread them, rather unladylike to match all the others. Then with my hands I placed them on my thighs and made my face and eyes blank. Oh the stories they could have told me...

Actually there were some messed up people at the airport. I don't know what the big deal with the TSA is, no matter what they do, the creepers will get in. For example...

You know how in movies there's always that obnoxious older brother, popular boy or best friend who wears his shirt collars up, sunglasses backwards on his hat and says things like 'ba bang' and jumps into cars without opening doors. There the ones who give themselves cool nicknames and always bang things and shout when making points. Think Steve Stifler (if you've watched that movie you have a very clear image now.) Well I never believed these guys existed, but what do you know, they do.

I was sitting at the gate and being the observer, or lets be honest, creep, I was listening and watching this guy come up to his 'buddies.' First he did the fist bump and I though he was gonna say 'bro' but I was sadly mistaken. He banged and danced a bit and then he started to tell this story about some girl one of his 'buddies' had asked about,'Dude she turned out to be 12! I had to get out of their like now...they don't grow them like that where I'm from. My sisters 10 and she never...' Add a few awful laughs and you got him. I need a friend like him so no one sits by us on planes.

Then once on the plane an older Shane and two girls sat behind us and they wouldn't stop talking. My sister was ready to go Specs on them. They started off funny, though,'Honey are you sure the cats going to be okay up here?' OS said as he put a cat carrier in the over head bins, the flight attendant (I can't help feeling bad for the poor suckers) told him an animals couldn't be kept up there. To which his 'honey' laughed and explained no animal was actually in it.

To sum things up for you here's 5 things I did on vacation
1.Made a wreath with a big sparkly feather on it. Ba Bang!
2.Watched some classic movies
3.Got my hair done, not much of a change because I'm trying to grow it out.
4.Invented another imaginary friend world including 5 more friends! Yay!
5. Worked on the roller coaster project and am almost done!

On the flight home we sat on the left side of the plane! I can't even sit in the left side of the classroom. And to top it off, in front of a baby. Before the end of the flight I wanted to kill the man in front of me who had his seat fully reclined and the babies parents who were trying tirelessly to teach it where Georgia was in a napkin
 map.

I also read this book called King Dork. Its a story about a nerdy kid in high school whose life changes after he reads his dead dads copy of the Cather in the Rye. At first I hated it because it says straight away that he doesn't like the Cather in the Rye (one of my favorites and a great inspiration) and that all teachers are part of the Catcher cult. So I started fairly biased, but it turned out to be an amazingly hilarious portrayal of high school. It had quirks and inside jokes with the reader, which I liked. And, what I liked the most, that characters weren't 2 dimensional. They were different than the typical crush or best friend. Like Kind Dorks best friend wasn't the party girl or the shy smart one as they are in most novels. He was a criminal genius, who stole Vicadin and made himself have nosebleeds before he got punched in PE. I liked that the characters were unexpected and genuinely deep. A must read.

I also watched a few classic movies. Like the Graduate and Rain man. Dustin Hoffman may be about to over take Billy Crystal. Quite an accomplishment.

All in all a good break. Well deserved if I may say so myself. Its nice to not have to know what day it is.

Hope you had one too! Happy new year...I can now say it is January 2, 2011. Its so weird to type that, gonna take some getting use to. You have no idea how long it took for me to think of what day it was.

PS. While working on the science project the first time my moms 30 year old, industrial  hot glue gun gave me a crazy burn on my ankle. It's sick (I think that's what the cool kids say when they aren't talking about sexual intercourse.) I've been telling people I got it in Nam. Pictures to come soon.