December 2, 2010

Bernie was being totally nice to me when I got into class. She went and got my paper. It took me 5 minutes to realize that she wasn't just in an amazing mood, she hadn't finished the book club book, I am the Messenger, and was trying to make sure I didn't go Courtney Love on her. Its sad, but honestly after I stole her lunch, pencil, water bottle, essay ideas and dignity by making her chicken dance in front of the class I no longer cared that she didn't read the novel.

So I went into 2nd period and I couldn't find my pencil so I went back into 0 to look for it. As I was walking off with a new pencil since my teacher said Bernie probably stole it we saw this girl running, slip and have her crap strewn all over the hall way. I picked up all her stuff and my teacher got her to her feet. I tried to make a joke about the concrete floors being slippery. Didn't go over. She started to walk the opposite direction and said she was going to in house (where all the tardy kids go) but we said no and took her to her next class. It was really sweet. Things like that touch me, and I don't usually let myself feel anything but disappointment towards humans, so yeah. That's how I roll. Ooh, this just got creepy. But what if I had done this? ;( That's so much worse.

But you know who else I love more then Ms.Sweet? Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know about this Portia chick, I'm gonna keep telling myself that's a phase. She'll get over it. And Jane Lynch. This is what went down outside of my school with my mom this morning,'I love Jane Lynch,'
Mom- 'I think she just got married,'
__________________________________________________________________________beep

Yeah, that was a large part of my soul dieing. You laugh because you think I'm over exaggerating, but I can't feel my left toes or taste sour anymore thanks to that news. A huge part of me was stolen.

Your face.
 Your mom.

We all know about that. But it appears a certain stupid, blond girl would like to take this up to the next level. I don't know why, it isn't like she has that many friends to spare. But this is what she does.'Your hair is pretty,'

Her- 'Your mom is pretty!'
Me- 'What did you just say? She complemented you and you complemented her mom? I feel so out of touch,'

You should have seen what went down when someone said I only do that in bed.

Hannie got dress coded because her shirt said athletic and the dean said that was offending. Just because you aren't athletic does not make that okay, man. Son.

In Chamber Roi started to tell us this story about how one of his teachers was going around checking kids to make sure they were wearing a collared shirt under their sweatshirts and coats. We will never know what the point of this story was because Ms. Heels interrupted him, jokingly, and asked if he was today. To which he turned bright red and stammered,'No, well not today, no, sorry,' She was going to send him to the deans but I said why whats the point I mean if he really wasn't going to take his sweatshirt off and flaunt his rule breaking it makes no difference whether or not he is. So he wasn't sent. But everyone made fun of him, come on though you cannot even start that story if you are breaking the rule your making fun of.

Lola hasn't worn a collared shirt in a few months. I think she's just seeing how long she can milk this now.

Hey does God have a girl friend? I feel like he would you know. He could get anybody right. If I was God, I would have more than one girlfriend. And no more Portia.

Actually speaking of, we got to use this really cool giant map today. The whole world would have taken up the 400 and 600 hallways so we were only using South America. She said it cost 80,000 dollars to print. Um, no you can go check the definition of AYP and add zeros somewhere else. But seriously it was huge. I think people were getting kind of annoyed at me though because I was like 'Hey, hey guys, look I'm walking on water, look I went from the Pacific to the Atlantic so fast, did you see that? I feel like freaking God right now.'

I invented this thing called the good and bad list for book club. And actually everyone got really into it. Flattering me and kissing up trying to get on the good list or off the bad. Really fun for me. Not so much for them. I started off the meeting by giving individual rules. Specs could not use her phone. Ryan had to raise his hand. Bernie was not to talk excessively. And Hilary was to not give dirty looks. Hilary is so cute. Pinch the cheeks cute. I love her, she was on the good list a lot. So was Bernie, but not without trying. And another few free office supplies.

Dance concert tomorrow. Woot woot! I hate people who do that, don't do that.

I'm so cold right now. I'm literally shaking. Its legit. Don't say that either.

I got a Shadow Day all planned. I will be following around a sophomore. I'm pretty nervous. Mostly about lunch. Duh.

What am I looking for in a women? Think of your mom. And then the exact opposite. Lets make this easier, how to describe Ellen in a few words? Huh.

I wish I had found out about Jane Lynch at night. Because I haven't heard anything out of my left ear all day. That's how traumatic the news was. Married. ;( Whoops I mean :(

This just got more creepy than it already was.