September 13, 2010

Monday.
Looks like I have a case of the Mondays.

My bumpy headed math teacher was out today. Some 23 year old with a purposely messy pony tale subbed for Algebra 1 Honors.

Sub- I went here 10 years ago I had a bunch of teachers I had as well!!!! (yup she was one of those)
Joe- So how old are you?
Sub- Somewhere in my twenties
Kat- You don't just ask someone that!
Me- She went here 10 years ago, you are 13 and 14 in the 8th grade.
Joe- So that makes her...

Jesus, did I go to the right class. Because I thought this was Algebra 1 Honors. As in a high school math credit. As in 13 plus 10 is easy. As in I'm terrible at math so why am I even saying this? As in I should stop saying 'as in' now.


In orchestra it appears that we have stolen the choir aid, what with ours being MIA still. I'm starting to believe she isn't sick, but dead. And the letter telling her to not come back at all will be thrown on her rotting body through the mail slot. Who am I kidding, do they even make mail slots anymore?

No but seriously she's dead.

Then we had to take a test (notice how I used to the less scary word test, rather then exam, because this is a bogus test.) It was on theater etiquette. I kinda' went over board on my answers. But only because I was so bored.

"Why shouldn't you eat in the theater?"

What?! You aren't allowed to eat? Since when?!  Well I don't care if they are doing Sound of Music, cancel my ticket.

Just joking. Like my school could pull off Sound of Music. It would be more like a parody.

The plays always star the same girl, Audrey. She is 'besties' with Katlyn (God I hate that name and you know you hate it to. When I see it on a paper or name tag or where ever I just want to hurt the owner, no offense if that's your name.) Katlyn wears bow ties around her head, every day. Her heads too big so she has to tie an elastic to them, but its super cute. Anyway Audrey is about 4'11 and blond and you can't see the bottom of her dimples there so deep. It gets really old.

I was asked if I wanted to join the National Honors Society Juniors Somethings. Its all about helping your fellow citizen. And I want to go to Stanford so yeah that crap looks good on applications. Plus I like doing good, really.

I have realized something. There is a John Calvin in every class, every school. He may not go by the same name but he's there and he's always the same.

Here is a picture.

He sits across from you. He is tubby and slightly arrogant. He is polite, but loud. He will help you but he will laugh that you are wrong. And he will kiss up to the teacher, always. There will always be a small, nicely wrapped gift with a funny melting snowman card attached to it signed John Calvin on the teachers desk. Always.

I also realized that I get really excited about fights or yelling authorities. Its odd. No doubt, but I do. When I see a teacher shaking her sweaty finger at a kid I nearly pee my pants.

Like today-

I'm walking down doom hallway with Specs when I hear two girls yelling at each other. They're darn close to pulling hair. I smack Specs across the arm and whisper, "Are they fighting? Do you see that? There fighting! Did you see that? They were fighting."

I don't know what excited me so much, probably that fact that it wasn't me, whatever. It was awesome. But then again I'm terribly afraid of spiders and vending machines, too.

And you thought you were weird because you hate clowns......