November 3, 2010

PrePost-
Me-"You know you are not suppose to have a label on your polo." I'm snotty like that. I don't actually care.
Tom-"So?"
Me- "I bet you carry around Sharpies and guns too."
Tom- "In my pocket now."
Me-"Wait you have a gun in your pocket?"
Tome "Gun? What I thought you said gum."
Tom- "Don't worry Ms.Heels, its only gum."
Me- "That was smooth."
Ms.Heels- "Spit it out now, don't you taste that!"

For Lola's birthday I got her a collection of random things, while not really random because they have meanings. The bag contained a bag of hot Cheetos, her favorite, a vanilla lotion, favorite scent, a berry lip balm, a bag of twix, another favorite and a can of chicken noodle Spongebob soup and Spongebob gummys.

I think she really liked it and she gave me a cupcake later, so it was a win. I never understood why people did that, brought cake or donuts or some other sweet thang for all their friends. See on my birthday I like to get things, not give things out. Though I think that's a custom in India or something. I think I read it in a Meg Cabot novel, I swear, she was on a rooftop in India and there were presents for kids and a red t-shirt. Those scenes are totally separate, but I kinda squished them all together, whoops.

The aid was gone today, no shocker, but the funny thing is the vice principal came in and whispered to Ms.Heels about it and I heard every word. Partly because I really wasn't paying attention to the music and partly because when the vice principal tries to whisper during a Bach piece, she fails. Who am I kidding Bach? No we always play songs by this guy names Richard Meyer. Who is he!?

Some girl called Ms.Heels the B word today loud enough that she could hear. She had to stay after class and from what Ive heard (I don't gossip I just went up to the girl, I'm trying to make myself sound cool) she has to write an apology. I wasn't that surprised though, I mean who hasn't called her that. Everyone except me and Hannie, that's who. Which is what I said to Tom when he came up to me in a neon lime green polo that exactly matched his shoes.

"Who hasn't?"
Tom- "What you have?"
Me- "No that's not what I meant, I haven't. I'm perfect!"
Tom- "Your not perfect, you have freckles."

Which is sorta a joke, not really, between us. One time he said something like that and I pretended to be sad. So now whenever he looks at me I cover my nose and cheeks.

Is it wrong to sniff Sharpies?

Two new people had haircuts today. I love that! Someday someones going to be reading this trying to analyze why I ended up killing people who get new haircuts or something. Your answer is right here, Mr.Man!

Haircuts are peoples ways of getting compliments. Forget cleanliness, cuz that's crap. Haircuts are a persons way to flaunt themselves on Mondays, after long weekends. Take Phylis for example. She wouldn't stop shaking her head today. And I noticed her hair, I did. But I didn't say anything. And that gets them every time. They see you seeing them and then you continue with a conversation. Same thing with new clothes. Then they get a little spastic with the twitching and the hair flips. So I, naturally concerned with their health, ask if they are okay? They're always fine and then they start the game called "Did you notice" I hate this game, almost as much as I hate spastic Phylis. And that's saying something.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"
Me- Got your braces off?
"No"
Me-"You never had braces!"
"What else?"
Me- "Its your hair isn't it? Because I cant keep it up to long.
"I got a haircut this weekend."
Well call in the President, she got a haircut!

It the same when they fish for compliments. "You are so pretty?" Pause. Sigh. Usually- "No you are!" Me-"Baby I know"

I tend to keep my hair to myself. Like my life. Because when I don't, this happens-

Hannie- "Wow your hair looks good today. Like usually its really frizzy, but its smooth today."
Flattered I wanted to keep it this way, but hectic music always ruins prefect dos and I asked this girl for a mirror in 3rd. She told me her friend had one and then..

Girl 1- "Do you have your mirror?"
Girl2- "Your hair looks fine!"
Girl 1- "Its for her!"
Girl 2- "Oh. Here."

True story.

I'm mad at Bernie. Not real mad, but irritated. She picks the book for book club and being the nice dictator I let her. Then she doesn't read it! She is on page 35 of 450, of her choice, on my copy. Which she dog eared. People who dog ear pages probably do sock, shoe, sock, shoe. Its so wrong.

And book clubs tomorrow. I started next next sessions novel tonight. And I'm on page 90!

Still on my way to becoming a movie expert. I think I'm going to go on Yahoo Answers and ask about must sees. It will probably be interesting to see what people who use Yahoo Answers say.

I figured out why I like hanging out with my little sisters friends and why 27 Dresses made me cry. I am a genius.

Remember those few kids who were older than you that you absolutely adored. The ones you wanted to be friends with, desperately to know. Well I had those and I think some part of me kinda wants to be one now. I mean I had a lot of those. A lot. And having someone feel the same about me is a weird sorta honor, right?

I cried at 27 dresses because that's me in the future. I reward myself with candy, only one piece. And I make lists and listen or I suppose read this..

Gabriel-"Can Vitamin C cause sores in your mouth?"
Me- "I don't think so, why?"
Gabe- "That kid seems to think so, and your smart."
Me- "Well I suppose if he got the vitamin c out of orange juice, oranges being a citrus, that could have irritated a sore."
Gabe- "...she said no"

I'm every part Katherine Heigle has ever played.

After Post-
In gym locker room....The lockers are crowded with self conscience teens with fruit of looms, still. They are loud and playful and O sits at her section of the bench and takes off her shoes. She looks over to her right. Her 'fiernd' has taken off her sneakers and it appears she is not wearing socks. Cue records screech.
"Do you own a trench coat too?"
Fade to black.


New Signature- Death by Dancing with yourself. I'm feeling it.