November 22, 2010

Here's how I want you to imagine me for this post- high, highly unsexy, pony tails, braces and glasses that I push up my nose every few seconds while gagging back phlegm and talking like I'm sick.

So this weekend I bought my very first Aeropostal sweatshirt, pretty massive deal when you don't do your own laundry and still watch Nickelodeon. I wore it today, breaking my no new clothes on Monday rule, but whatever. I make my rules to be broken, which is why I still bite my nails and look myself up. When I walked into 0 period Korola, forgetting the obligatory hello, says 'Are you wearing an Aeropostal sweatshirt?' I replied calmly, because if I hadn't the power of the jacket would be lost. Yes. 'Is it yours?' And then I should have said Who else's would it be? But no I just kinda mumbled yes again and sat. And then in 6th Ryan told me I looked like a cheerleader with it on. I won't complain on that one, but it really isn't the image I was going for.

Bernie was ticked today, or maybe it was her new bright red lip stick that made me think her whole face would boil red soon like Donald Duck. She wouldn't stop glaring at this 12 year old in our class. Kitty skipped 2 grades and turned 12 just last moth. She is beyond smart, but physically and emotionally she is 12. I can't help but feel bad for her, her parents probably make her wear lace ankle socks.
Bernie- ' She's one of those kids who laughs when the teacher puts on the Charlie Brown Christmas on the day she doesn't want to make a lesson plan.'
Me- 'Those can be pretty funny, and the teacher only puts those on when she gets hungover and that only happens like 3 times a year,'
Bernie- 'It's not even Christmas when they put in on, God, she's wearing tennis shoes,'
Me- Stop it, she's nice, you were 12 once too,'
Bernie- 'I could have skipped a grade,'
Teacher- 'Girls,'
Me- 'Oh, I see now,'
Bernie- 'What do you see? You don't see anything,'
Me- 'It's quite clear now, but think about it would you like to be surrounded with present you when you were 6th grade you?'
Bernie- 'You make more sense on paper, here.'
Me- 'So not in the mood,'
Bernie- 'Kidding, but I could have,'
Me- 'I'm sure,'
Teacher- 'Girls!'

The composer of one of our pieces in chamber came in today. He was like 30 and annoying Emma's dad. He was so not like her, and Ms.Heels had the biggest crush. She gets all bubblegum when people come in and watch her teach. She's suddenly artificial strawberry lip gloss. We pray for these times, the times when she grinds her teeth and bats her overly made up eye. At one point the composer guy, Bobby, says his role models were his teachers. Some one in the back yells out, 'lies!' Which got a heavy dose of eye batting and teeth crunching. This is why I love evaluation days so much. We can go up to her and say our G string is loose and not lose a tooth ourselves. Or be hung by her hair and the long, ugly scarves she wears.

I have learned to simply laugh at everything my science teacher says. She is the most sarcastic thing you will ever meet. And then she gets all preschool on us and says crap like, 'that went over your heads. So when she asked us if our IQ's were nonexistence I started rolling on the floor. She deserves all my fake, kiss up laughs. I'm going to pass this class because of that, just like I pass PE because I never put my hand down.

Speaking of PE, we were filling these sheets out in the gym and Cassy asks,'What does PE stand for?'

 Staying after for the NJHSasdagrhdfcg executive meeting was the most fun. Though Shane was there and I no longer want him as a sidekick. In fact I told my mom I want him to have to spend the rest of his life saying 'want fries with that?' Because he is mean. I accidentally sat in his seat and he got so ticked, I was like I didn't know and he wouldn't stop.

I was super thankful that Ricky was there, he is about 4 feet 5 inches and the funniest thing ever. I asked him why he was there and he told me he was water boy. I asked him to get me a water and he quickly said, kidding I'm orange juice boy and were out of that.

Shane started to get better when we talked about Harry Potter, 'I don't like British movies, its all curly hair, jacked up teeth and pasty skin,' Ricky was like,' Ive only ever seen the first one and what was he 4 in that?' Which made Shane's comment less,well, obvious. But it did nothing to save his next one. We began to look through the Oriental trading catalog and I asked if we could buy 1 and a half packages of stuffed animals to sell. Shane then said 'No, the orientals can't figure that out!' What is that some sort of twisted humor? Because it belongs on a You Tube channel that no one sees, not in a classroom. As I kept turning the pages I began to notice ducks. There are rubber ducks for every holiday. Christmas, Easter, Mardi Gras. Which Ricky didn't understand, 'Sorry if I'm not Egypt ion.'
Me- 'I don't think its Egyptian.'
Ricky- 'It sounds like it would be. You know?'
Shane- 'Give me the book, don't be a power whore.'
Me- 'What did you just say?'
Shane- 'Power whore.'
Ricky- 'Um. Hordes, you mean power horde.'
Shane- 'What?! It isn't whore?'
That just became my personal slogan, don't be a power whore! Kidding..kinda.


Kisses to you...but not your croc wearing mom!