Febuary 6, 2010

This weekend has been kind of crazy.

I had my recital and I went over to Bernie's and then there was the SUPERBOWL!
I'm sorry. I capitalized that, but I didn't even really watch it. It makes me feel stupid. The only thing I know is that a first down has to be at least 10 yards or something.

Class on Friday was slow, in fact I think by the end of the day everyone had heard me say that at least 3 times. I've come to look forward to Health. It's like a break from the rest of the school. It's way back in the 900 hall. Which isn't even on the same bell schedule. All the bells ring 30 seconds later than the rest of the school, and the 900's have heat.

My teacher doesn't have any motivational posters that make me want to punch small children and his stories keep him too preoccupied for actual learning.

He was telling us about this time when this women brought in tacos and burritos with rancid meat and it made all the teachers sick. And then we started talking about the side effects of food poison, and that's when he told us that's why he always wears two pairs of socks.

I think that's when Spec's fell over laughing too hard, choked on her Dr.Pepper (which I'm fairly sure she thinks will make her healthy because of the DR. in the title) and we had to leave early because the ambulance came and picked her up.

And now that's she's gone, I can cross that off my bucket list and get on with my life. Look out Mt. Everest.

And then my incompetent science teacher (why did you become an educator? so that you can make sound effects while mispronouncing the elements?) gave me a book to help me with my project. God the people I work with are always so lucky. None of the work, and all the A's. That's how I roll.
I was supposed to return the book by tomorrow and that meant writing down every single use of every single element in the periodic table. And because I'm a loser with a capitol S, that's how I spent my Saturday morning.

In the afternoon I went to Bernie's and her cousins were there. They are fraternal 14 year old girls. And Bernie described them as not the sharpest tools in the tool shed. And Bernie's mom said they were the equivalent of 5 year olds.
And that's saying a lot considering the fact that the entire time I was over Bernie's mom kept walking into the living room, asking about the stank, questioning Gigi, Bernie's 5 year old sister, who would say she was tooting.

This kept happening until I was about to leave when they discovered Gigi had been crapping her pants the entire time. I don't know if she couldn't tell or if she was embarrassed, but it took everything I had and the mental image of Debra Messing and Renee Zelweger's children to keep me from laughing.

I've become obsessed with Glee over this week. And I needed it. It's like Gossip Girl's gotten so dark that I needed some high school and bright colors. Even if those aspects are shoved between bad 80's songs. And then entire premise of the show is High School Musical kicked in the nuts. With the addition of lesbians.

Though I'm fairly sure if High School Musical ever came out Sharpay and Gabriela would be getting it on. Right? I'd turn on the Disney Channel to see that.

I think my mom thinks I'm a pressed lemon.
Google that.

It's funny that I was talking about taking pictures with Bernie on my last blog. And then I went over to her house and that's all we did again.

It's like she has nothing else to do at her house. She even asked me what I do when people come over to my house in order to get ideas because we were all so bored. But then I couldn't answer the question, that's my blind spot, and things just got awkward.

She even found out about my foot problem.

I can't have feet touch me.
And now she knows, and were stronger for it.

Here's a list of my other queerities. (Yeah, that's right. I made up that word. It's a mix of queer and qualities. I always keep my promises)

I can't drink out of clear glass cups because I can see the residue of dirt on it. Whereas on mugs, it's like it doesn't exist.
I will go back to step on a crunchy leave, even if it means not getting home for an extra 5 minutes.
I always have to have at least one hair clip, bobby pin, headband in my hair. Sometimes I stick a bobby pin at the nape of my neck. So it's not visible, but it's there.

And there's more where that came from.

My mom's been pressuring me about the semi formal. And by pressure I mean casually bringing it up in conversation. It may have to do with her thinking I'm a repressed lesbian (pressed lemon) but she wants me at that dance. And she might even want me to have a date.
And I'm like fly me in Ellen and Janie and then we'll talk.

Maybe she wants me to be normal. And as FacebookFanPageGirl would say, that's just a setting on a dryer. Or something.

It's just that the Easter egg, bridesmaid look doesn't appeal to me. Neither does a cheesy Italian American club packed with Easter egg colored bridesmaids with food you probably have to pay for individually. I'm sorry. I guess I'm the weird one.

And that's when Spec's went,'Ahahahahahhahahaha, two socks at once.... for the...ahaha,'

So here's what I hope you got from this blog- the word queerities

And use it.

Until next time!

My mom wears crocs.