Febuary 13, 2011

Today is my mothers birthday. We celebrated with Mediterranean and brownies. I got her a custom made t shirt that has a mini cooper, her car, and the words Actual Size on it.
Because she's short.

But actually that wasn't all I did this weekend. Sorry I probably should have told you to sit down first.
No, but seriously, on Friday I got two invites. One to the glee showcase, Motown, where Katlyn would pick me up. And then the other was going to the movies, specifically the Justin Beiber documentary, with that cheerleader that I've been half mock fighting with.
So obviously I spent my evening with a bunch of teenage girls, 5 year olds and one gay guy in a theater watching Never Say Never.
And the worst part. I fell in love with Justin Beiber. No, it's not like my love for Jane Lynch, it never will be. But the movie did its job in making me feel like I could relate with a 16 year old boy who has alarm clocks and lunch boxes. I left and I was like,'He's a real boy!' And I don't know the minute he was born or the name of his dog, but I was impressed.

Then me and Kenzie, yes Kenzie, went to a frozen Yogurt place and then a candy store and it was a right good first date.

In fact, we told the guy giving us our popcorn (we shared a popcorn and drink, she asked me,'Hey I don't really know you, but can we share a drink?') that we were on our first date. Either he was doing the whole no speaking English thing on purpose or he really just didn't know what we were talking about.
And then in the middle of the movie she did the yawn put arm around me move and it made me laugh out loud.

I really can see myself as her friend. I can, and as sad as it is, it probably just became the subject of my mid-health day dreams. Me and Kenzie designing Beiber shirts, me and Kenzie shopping for sundresses (is that what they do?), me and Kenzie squabbling over the spelling of blond. All in good time, my Internet friends. All in good time.

My parents are making me angry this weekend. For some reason they kind of stopped doing things for me. And as bratty as that may sound, it's true. They won't take me out for new shoes (I only have two pairs) and Issy had to give me a winter coat this year because they said I didn't deserve one.

Their comments are starting to get to me. About the clothes I don't wear because it's not summer yet, being there soon and the fact that I eat to much. That kind of stuff. My mom will see me eating and say things like,'I can't save you from yourself.' How rude is that?

But enough about the immense pain in my life, I really should have my own Oxygen show.

I was at the gym today and I swore I was in an Adam Sandler romantic comedy. You know that constant gag they do in movies where they'll have someone naked but because of something like a stack of papers or a plate you can't see they privates (VULVA!) or breast or something. Well, I was leaving the locker room and this women calmly walked by me with a towel wrapped around her neck, hiding her nipples and she just happened to be drying her hands with a wad of paper towels which she held at crotch level. I almost said in my creepy voice,'Sorry I'm not better looking!' From 50 first Dates.

Hope you all had a good, Beiber filled weekend! Enjoy Valentines and try not to sound like a dumb jerk on Facebook (Just another Monday! I need a Valentine! To many requests!)