March 29, 2011

Today something major happened. And by major I mean tiny, insignificant, a thing you don't even remember when you run into the main character in the forgotten scenario at the hardware store. That's how major.

So lets back up. Yesterday I made a list of some renewable resources and information about each one in a word document for the new city project in science that I'm doing with Kenzie and Ginger. I told Kenzie, and she gave me crap about it being a waste of time and because lists are sorta my life, it offended me. I played it cool, until I got to school and told Ginger and another girl, Mousy. They both agreed with me. All knocked out on my pride high I told my Geo teacher, and jokingly told her to yell at Kenzie when she came in next hour. That teacher loves me and I don't doubt that she went all 'sister, child' on her, but I also don't think Kenzie took it seriously. But in present time science she tells me and Ginger she's bailing.
Which leads me to a theory. My awesomeness was too strong for the young grasshopper.

I do this thing where when I want to feel sad, I usually do this when I know I'm bummed about something unimportant, I can conjure up a whole circumstance and problem and make myself cry. And I forget my original, probably stupid and petty reason for feeling bad. I do a similar thing when I'm feeling disappointed, because I'll be honest, I kinda was after Kenzie ditched, it's like being dumped over text. Ginger told me, and I had to believe it when she told me that Kenzie had said we just weren't looking for the same things out of life and it was her not me. What I do is try to pick out things about the situation that are good, and things about the person that are bad. In writing this does not sound similar at all to my previous method of reaching happiness, or more so normality.

And in the latter method I discovered that Kenzie is really boring. Straight up dull. She doesn't do anything outside of school, no dance lessons or sports, except cheer which has ended. She doesn't have a constant friend that she always talks about, like I do with Issy. Her grades are good, but she isn't the class smarty (called it!) and her family is traditional, her favorites stereotypical and her hobbies nonexistent. To me she looks like the kinda pf person a serial killer would take the identity of because of the easiness. But that's just how my mind sees it.

But I don't want to go into that because I'm fairly sure this is how most school shootings start off.

My day, other than being dumped for the first time, went well. I made a crap poster in NJHS about the spring carnival and although it started off all right it turned into all the other crummy teacher color paper posters that are ripped off the walls. Actually today I saw not one, but two posters hanging upside down, fully taped upside down. And unless there's some kindred spirit student, full of ironic poster hanging pranks, I see this as yet another sign of how much stupider humanity is getting.

I hope you had a better day than I did! And  a happy New Years too!