March 14, 2011

Pi day!

The first day back to school after a short weekend is kinda like being given roofies and then punched every 50 minutes.

My mom made a pie, for pi day, and I thought it was for work or something. Nope, she just made a pie for us, to celebrate a math holiday. And now you understand so much. And for some reason Katlyn thinks that makes her the coolest mom ever. 

No. I will not stand for such an accusation.
So here goes nothing, or a lot of something. You decide! Sorry that was cheesy.

Things my mom says that drive me crazy.
1. 'You use to...' 'Where did my little girl who...'
2. 'Knock it out.' Is this some saying hybrid I was unaware could be used in public?
3. 'Our dog is off his nut.'
4. 'I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning!' Wait what?
5. 'You got a date for semi formal? You gonna ask anyone out? I've noticed you've been doing a lot of research on Ellen DeGeneres lately? Do you need my help picking out a dress for semi formal, maybe, out of the closet?'

And now you know.

After testing everyone struggles to get back in routine, and most classes are especially boring. I took notes in most, today. I think this is when the hard core senioritis starts to kick in. With 13 weeks left, we just start to drop like flies.In fact we took 5 different pages of notes in Geo today, and the pain was only amplified by the fact that my teacher was on her period or something. She snapped at us more then once, and then later as we began to talk again, she asked is if we wanted to see her bad side again. And, let's not kid ourselves, I think you know what happened next.
'Eric, was that you that said yes, Christian, you? Because I know where all of you live, I got Map Quest, Google Earth is a click away. I'll follow you home,'

Oh, you don't find this freakin terrifying? Let me give you a mental picture of my teachers.

I start off in 0 period, with my grandmotherlike English teacher. Who, I feel, should always be offering us cookies and verbs or something, and looks like those women in the movies who take out their long gray or white hair and brush it while their husband talks about his day at work. Am I the only one who always sees that scene in movies? She's only 58, but middle school and her ELL (English Language Learning) class has worn her out.

First hour I have math, with Ms.Bumpy Head. And while that sums all math teachers up fairly well, I suppose I should mention her mum sweater. It's this big pink sweater, and she just got a new one, not that we noticed, because it's basically the same one. Something about teaching math makes teachers think that they can go around wearing polos, pushing up their glasses onto their foreheads so their bangs go crazy and wearing floppy pants okay.

For second and third I have Ms.Heels. You've probably noticed by now, how I nick name these guys. I'm no pro. Ms. Buhler will go down in history has Miss. Boobler, and Mr.Irving will never have a student that hasn't cursed Mr.Pervin. Ms.McMulons, for some reason is called Ms.McMuffin, but you know, they can't all be great.

Ms.Heel's only wears her long, blond hair down, and has no bangs. It's constantly being redyed and she looks like a vampire that doesn't sparkle. Definitely 'hot women at bar,' or 'porn teacher,' (I assume) but not exactly the most not scary looking out there. Least not scary. What I'm saying is, she isn't to bad, but she;s not exactly Gwenyth Paltrow. (That's our dance teacher :))

My geography teacher is this large, half black, tall (she was called twisted stilts in high school, god, we are good at nicknames,) who wears almost tribal clothing, lots of shapes, and big jewelry. And even more scary, despite how nice she can be.
In my opinion, there are two types of scary. There's understated, intimidating, I'm a lion and your my dinner scary. And then their Ms. Candy scary. The long, false, eye ripping, nails, stare you down while raising one eyebrow, pursed lips scary.

Fifth period I have health with a 52 year old, bald white guy. Who looks like this-

Mr.Clean.

And then sixth hour I have my sarcastic science teacher who shops at Nordstrums with the money she makes doing nothing. Description? I barely ever really see her, she prefers to look at her computer then us. Sorry.

And what do I look like? Imagine everything you love about Jennifer Love Hewitt. And then multiply that by three. And then imagine the exact opposite. Come on mother nature, what I ever do to you, bro?

Alright, love you. Soo homo.
Unless you wear Crocs, and then you can just continue your tacky, walking on air relationship with them.