March 16, 2011

Greetings and salutations my lovely Croc wearers.

I came to a realization today, while home alone and walking around naked, that despite all out efforts, we aren't gonna be just exactly like our idols. It's sad, but true. I have a few idols, some are fictional, some are real. Well, actually only two that are real, that aren't my mom, and they're both in high school. In fact, they're kind of opposite each other. One is so nice, almost too nice, and she's pretty and put together and polite. And I want to have that charm, it'll help me with the ladies. And the other is a dancer, with sloppy hair and rebellious attitudes and impulsive actions. Also, help with the ladies.

My others consist of the character -Blair Waldorf, whose dream job is simply to be a powerful women.
The actress-Blake Lively, because, well just Google it. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

And that's just a few. But they're all so different, and I try so hard to be like them all. It's rather pathetic when thought about for long enough, like light beer and cat caption pictures.

Take my weekend, I was at this outdoor mall with Kenzie (surprise!) and we went in to a few stores, and as I shop I always ask myself if one or more of my idols would approve. In some ways this protects me and the public from a Lady Gagaesque malfunction. But in other ways, I have no idea what kind of clothes I like to wear. I like t shirts, sure, and I always check the jeans 'n ts box in personality quizzes, but who doesn't? Does anyone check the mini skirt and fish nets box?

Anyway, my point is. Because yes, Mom, I have one. (It's not revealing, it's individuality!) Is that no matter how hard we try we aren't gonna be replicas of our idols. And, think about it, it wouldn't be that great anyway. That way, we couldn't be idols ourselves.
God, I'm good.

So here's my tip. Get an idol, a wholesome one, with morals and values. Like me. Oh, Charlie and Brittany, how you will lead me to greatness. And follow their examples, not their lives. Because, from my limited experience, looking through the binoculars isn't that great. And getting screamed at by Miley Cyrus in the middle of the night with sirens steadily approaching isn't that great either.

As I stealthily mentioned I did spend my Saturday afternoon with Kenzie, with the lights out and only the bad soundtrack of Beastly to be heard. Does Vanessa Ann Hudgens voice provoke cramps for anyone else? And then window shopping. Life's good. I think she's gonna invite me over next weekend. And I swear this whole friendship is a parade of awkwardly inserted hugs, sarcastic comments, and carefully chosen outfits. But whose isn't?

I feel like I kinda abandoned you this past week. And I'd love to tell you I was busy, but I like to be as honest as possible while on the Internet, no Google image My Space pics for this girl. Id love to tell you I had tests, or a thriving social life. Or that Ellen called one night and sent a private jet to my street with Jane Lynch inside waiting to take me to Fiji for a special broadcast of Ellen's show which would feature...sorry that was unexpected. But I can tell you none of this. Basically I've been lazier than usual.
That sounded just as sad in my head as it does in writing.

So I'll leave you with two things. And you can pray that I come back or, because I swear by being honest online, that I don't.
1- Cat Caption Pictures? No.
Lemur Caption Photos? Boss (Sorry, I can't say it out loud with out people beating me up, so here all I get is cyber punches)
http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/263066/Chill+Lemur/

2- Why is there a late night with Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon? Do you know who your viewers are? I'm a freaking genius and I'm confused. 

My best wishes, and I hope you don't get hit with any radioactive rain!
Who am I kidding? We need more Hulks and Supermen.