May 26, 2011

BODY CHANGES!

Today was actually a really good day. And I don't want to hear anything from you crystal statue collecting, bumper sticker people. It was because I knew I looked good on the outside. 

You get to school and you know you don't look good. Everyone does the don't look now double take. Which, if that was lost on you, is the slow mo 'don't look now' and the double take. Combined. 

They don't say anything, No compliments, No insults. 

That's appreciated though, because when they do compliment you you can see the laughter and judgment bubbling up behind their eyes and you just want to punch them. Like,'Your one of those people?  Really?' When you say things like that you make my bad hair day, unpopable zit and lack of clean, nice clothes 10 times worse. 

Insult in your own homes. Behind my back, that's just common manners. 

So, point is, I looked good today. Proof? Tim came up to me and said this-'O, you look like a pretty girl today! Not nerdy one.'

Hannie got offended for me. Then he said,'No, I meant to say smart?'

And Taylor, the meanest and most cheerful cheerleader of all, told me I should be a cheerleader. Because cheer leading was from the inside, not the outside, but I was pretty any way. To which I asked her if this bass player with Kenny G hair could be a cheerleader and she said,'Oh no!'

                  

I got an A on my math test. So did the girl who sat next to me, whose paper I graded...sans scratch work. Coincidence? I think not! 

She hides her paper, like I'm gonna cheat, and I never do, cheat and cover my paper. Because I honestly don't care. 

It was funny because Kenzie said,'Yeah shes always looking at your paper, I saw her.' I responded, 'How do you know? Were you looking at me?'

I masturbate and play WOW. 

You play WOW?

Which brings us to Kenzie.

Our science projects are do tomorrow and mine is done. Cheertown however looks like a hot pink mess. We all had to have one moving or light up object on our projects. I opted for light up, me and mom, or more correctly my mom, hooked up LEDs for me. I strung them from the bottom, and they look amazing.

While after school on Tuesday with ¾ of the cheer team, no Kenzie, I offered to ‘hook’ them up. Because I’m G, and stereotypically a nerd doing popular's homework.

Go ahead judge.

They all agreed, because…are we seriously going into this?

I brought the lights in today, and showed them off. Everyone but Kenzie loved them, she said,’I can not believe you did this.’

I’m glad none of my friends have ever been good, or remotely interested in the same things as me, it leads to conflict.

Kenzie and I, however, are constantly confused for each other. Mixed up names. Called from the back.

The one thing she had that I didn’t, cheer, she gave up for next year. We're equals. Its disgusting. And me painting a building, let alone hooking up lights, for her project is the ultimate win.

My mom asked me why I can't make friends the normal way.

This is how I see it- making Kenzie owe me something makes her indebted to me, something that can be payed back with friendship.

Sick aren’t I?

Go ahead, judge.

On a more serious note. My great aunt recently died from pancreatic cancer.

And the absolutely revolting thing is there was a recent episode of Glee in which Jane Lynch's characters sister died, and they showed this touching funeral. Blah Blah Blah. And I cried, hard. Granted it was the same day I found out about my aunt, but still. I felt horrible. I didn’t shed a tear for this amazing women I had touched in the flesh, who wasn’t fictional. And yet for some character on a FOX show I cried. I felt so guilty.

My mom read aloud an email preceding the obituary. And it got me thinking. (Don’t even say it!) I don’t want an average obituary, or one at all. Its sad, having to post something to tell people your dead. And I want to write my own. And I want it to say, I realize that thinking of my death is more sick and twisted than the way I get friends, but here it is- Observer. May her mistakes teach and her successes inspire.

And that’s it. Sweet, simple, and not something someones gonna read halfway through and get bored with.

O will not bore, not even after shes dead. (Don’t say it!)

Until next time my fan!

Does your mom wear Crocs?