May 30, 2011

As the end of the year approaches at wicked speed, I've found myself evaluating each one of my classmates. Its like when you bring to school your year book and decide who to have sign it. And in both situations the question of 'who really matters?' arises. Do I need or even want her false 'I'll miss you' in my year book to be forgotten? Am I really going to miss him?

And I've come to the realization that, no, I don't want her to sign and , no, I wont miss him. Each and every one of the people who have cluttered my life for the past 8 years in school is being tossed out. Every one. I don't have a say in their future, but can say I will probably not keep in touch, and while I hope they like high school, I'm far to self involved to find out if they actually do.

So everyone has been writing in my year book, and what happens is they ask you to sign theirs and suddenly you have to return the favor, like it's some big honor, by giving them yours. Then they spend the next 10 minutes wasting my time with phony things about summer and high school and luv. Not luve or love. Sorry to use the term, but I hate 'I love you' sluts.They're everywhere.

They come out of hibernation about this time of year. They spit their good wishes at you and you're expected to sue. That was a really bad analogy.

On a less aggressive note- more pregnancy videos. Two more, actually.
I have come to the conclusion that in the 70s the women's faces were gorgeous, genitals ungroomed, and not as delicate. And by the 2000s the women's faces were mutilated and stubby and their genitals were trimmed.
Pros and cons, yes?

The only version that really freaked, or grossed me out was the last one. The baby was bloody and wet and it was all too slick. I suppose that's better. Her dad was in the room though and it was awkward, at least it was for me.

We also saw many in the body camera shots, where they strategically (?) put cameras up places and you saw things, in extreme angles. But the budget cuts are crap and the televisions from the 80's so it wasn't HD or anything. There was one clip that showed a male ejaculating in a woman's vagina. And personally I didn't notice anything but the fact that they had somehow, carefully I assume, gotten a camera in...well you know. I kept looking around to see if anyone else was even considering it, but no it was just lil' pedo me wondering how they got that footage.

The last video we watched was narrated by John Lithgow, of 3rd Rock from the Sun, to me. His voice is very distinctive and I couldn't help but feel like I was watching a seriously in depth episode of 3rd Rock, where they figured out the miracle of life.
He kept saying 'gonads' at one point and I swear I was again the only one laughing. 'A fetus has two gonads that can either become testicles or ovaries.' He kept emphasizing gonads like he knew I was there. Gonads. Gonads. Gonads.

The couple that that video focused on was so creepy. This 6 foot women and her tiny Italian-Mexican partner who kept making whale sounds into her belly in public. Geezus. Just...no.

Today I saw a sign at my future high school that said _________ High Schoo the 'l' had fallen off so I pronounced it as my current principle does,'skoo.' And for some reason this sign made me think that high school, no matter how many people thought it was going to be life changing, is still school. Basically a middle school, only less hormonal and more sexual. That's all it is. It isn't some huge accomplishment, except maybe it is in my neighborhood. It was still a skoo, and I wasn't really leaving anything behind, I was just exchanging the setting and characters. When I was in 5th middle school was just like high school is now. And look how that turned out.

I have a terrible weakness to disappointment and I will not let yet another skoo disappoint me.

The only thing that can really change is..well....my nickname. I'm currently called Hannah by a lot of people because I tricked them into believing it was my real name, but I don't think that counts.

Here are some possibilities.
Veruca. (as in Salt)
Maxamillion. (this seems to be popular)
Warbucks (self explanatory)

Speaking of names I have chosen my future children's names. Darrell. Pronounced Duh-rell. And La-a. Pronounced Ladasha.

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