December 1, 2010

Hey you look nice?
I know.

My adim are out to kill me, well not just me, everyone. They have their ways. The pole, the golf cart and the mat. Those are the top three.
1. The pole is a giant, removable poll that's in the double doors. When kids are rushing out of lunch, in packs no one sees the pole, and at least one person will flat out run straight into it. Everyday. No exceptions.
2. The golf cart. Now,  I have never had the privilege of seeing this done, but Minion #2 has this golf cart. He rides around in it with a few buttons undone, at the bottom of his shirt, and you just get this feeling of dread when you see him coming towards you. Because I swear he speeds up with that thing. What would I tell younger me? Watch out for the golf cart. What do I tell incoming 6th graders? Watch out for the golf cart. What do I tell everyone? Hi my names________. It changes up.
3.The mat. This may just be the worst. Right before the pole, there's a mat. It doesn't need to be there, it knows it has no purpose except inflicting pain. But it just does what it's told. Here's how I think it goes down...
Minion#1- Hey, hey...the overlord, she who has no face (maybe no legs) wants the mat working today..okay?
Janitor- Gotcha, I'll pull it up. They are almost done with lunch
            heeeeehe, its pulled up at the corners!
And then we all stream in and trip, usually into the pole. So there you go, they're out to get us.

My math teacher looked like a frumpy, grandmother today when this young, college student came in, wearing stripes and stuff with hairspray in use. I felt sad, but I kinda decided that I would rather be my math teacher (minus the crazy tumor bump thing on her head) because you can just tell she really likes her job. And this women clearly didn't.

Shes also really funny. And not even that teacher who thinks she's funny, she really is. And she gets so excited from math. She calls in magic. She was even showing us this trick and then stated that it was moron proof. Some kid in the back, probably Craig, was like 'yessss!'

But then again he walked into the science room and said, 'This place is emptier then an empty cave,' So we have stop expecting anything different.

Ms.Heels told us that we were all green folders, some of us were yellow. What? Me and my mom have decided that,like us, she has learned to tune herself out.

She wasn't wearing any makeup and it was kind of scary. And the worst part is that I kept imagining those waring slides they have at the beginning of makeup tutorials online. Like Warning, no makeup! So yeah, that's pretty sad. Like how I imagine half the kids at my school either on Maury or To Catch a Predator someday or that I'm not all alone.

But aside from being lonely, apparently I make people laugh. Baby, I know. But seriously we were writing an essay and Cathy had to be called out because she couldn't do pacers (running 20 meters in a certain length of time, getting shorter, over and over) because shes a little messed up, who cares how. So instead my stuttering teacher decided to evaluated her with push ups. She went out side, was gone for 2 seconds and came back in. When she came back in we were all like how many did you do? you were gone for like a second? She wouldn't answer, and kept blushing (obviously she did like 3) and so I said 'Did he hurt you?' To which everyone burst out laughing. I just kinda told them I wasn't that funny and they needed to shut up.

Though now that I think about it, its about time I wrote stand up. I will start with a joke about how I could be the love child of_______ and _________. I don't know what celebrity's I look like. How about Jennifer Love Hewit and some hot male celebrity who isn't Mathew Maughnihy. Because if I was related to him, I wouldn't be here any longer.

Isadora hit me.
Because I didn't know who Snoop Dog is? Was? See, I still don't know. I think he was, is a rapper. Or is it rapist. Oh! What if it was rapist. That would be so horrible.

This 6th grader sat with us, she turned out to be our old friemeys cousin. But obviously didn't spend much time with her, because this girl was nice and fashionable. Or maybe I just like her because she rolled her eyes whenever Korola talked. Yeah, that's probably it.

Who wants to know my dream last night? Its crazy. Not like really, but kinda. So I'm standing there talking to this faceless guy, actually he might have been a You Tuber, maybe Kassem G, and then I started to write my phone number on his fingernails, yeah. He takes out his phone to copy it down and then says,'This is so going on MySpace,' To which I said,' Not again, might as well be a ginger if your still on MySpace,' And then I walked away all angry. Isn't that weird. Whats the meaning there?

Love you long time...not you croc wearing mom? Wait, whats she doing? Are those Uggs? Jesus, she never learns!